Thursday, May 31, 2018

To the man who loved and lived-Part 5


My last aunt got married when I was in 4th standard. My grandmother has 5 daughters and aunt B was the last one to get hitched. Once she is gone my granny would be all alone. Grandpa was gone a long time ago. I moved in with her much to the dismal of my parents. When Ammamma requested my parents they could not say no. I was with her till class ten. For those 6 years my dad used to visit me every Sunday without fail but for the summer holidays. I was pathetic with English spellings back then. He made sure I get all the spellings right within a month. It was really a painful process if I remember it correctly. Helicopter parents were not fashionable then, but surely my father was one. I was not always happy to see him every weekend especially if I scored less in exams. Later I realized it was an effort for him to travel 40 kilometers to and fro on Sundays, the only holiday he gets in a week. He could have relaxed sitting at home, watching movie, reading book, writing or berating my unruly brothers. I know my father was a homebody. He was perfectly at peace staying at home doing all the Sunday chores. But deep down I know he couldn't stay long without seeing me. It was pure unconditional love.

When I joined college it was 200 KM away from home, the journey would take 6 hours by bus. My father came to drop me down and get me settled in the new town. I was shit-scared, but wouldn't show because I didn't want dad to worry about me. we went shopping together and brought all the essentials deemed necessary. I spent the night at hostel and he at the hotel. He was on time for the orientation. I was comforting him that I'l be alright and will take care of myself in the corridor. Then "D" approached us and introduced herself. What happened was during introduction session she got to know that both of us are from same district. After talking to her my father was somewhat relaxed and less stressed as if sensing this friendship is going to last a lifetime, however, I didn't know that just yet. After having lunch together we bid adieu to each other. Yes, my eyes were moist and I was just short of howling.

Why I was surprised when he was back again the next Sunday? He would have left home early morning to reach here at 12 o'clock. After spending 2 hours together he left at 2 in the noon. And he would have reached home around 8 o'clock. It was those days when pre-booking tickets was not possible. I don't know whether he got seat or traveled all the way standing. I never asked. Either I was insensitive or too busy making new friends, or both. That was pre-cell phone era and I would get call from home once a week, on Sundays. I used to write elaborate letters at least in the beginning.

For the first three months he visited me every month. Later I forbade him from doing so, convincing him it was economically more viable if I go home every month as I get to see my mother, brothers, grandmother and cousins. And I did so without fail throughout the course.

He coming to see me off wherever I go or whenever I go continued.  There was only one time my father didn't come to drop me off. That is a long story and for another post.

After wedding there is always hubby to drop me off and pick me up from native. It was like my father had passed on the baton of taking care of his little girl to the love of her life. For the unknown he did the same to my brothers as well. The unflinching love he had for us is heartbreaking.

Few years ago I had to visit native when Ammamma was fighting the tuberculosis as well as depression. Due to unavoidable circumstances Hubby couldn't accompany me. So, when I got off the bus there stood the man in white shirt and blue sarong (Kannada-lungi) holding an umbrella with a mischievous smile. That is the last time my father picked me up from a station. Apparently he got too tired of chaperoning us around. Perhaps he wanted his children to grow up and be independent. I would give up anything to be with that man again. He should have known that I don't want to grow up and I want to be in his overprotective cocoon forever.

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