Monday, July 30, 2018

Girls Like You


Song: Girls like you
Album: Red Pill Blues 
Genre: Pop
Singers: Maroon 5 Ft Cardi B

This video just popped up in YouTube while I was searching for something else. One look into it and glued I was. That is Maroon 5's "Girls like You". The lead singer Adam Levine in the middle of the room singling while the room spins or rather camera makes a circle. And every time a different female appears behind him, singing (lip syncing) and dancing. What caught my attention was Gal Gadot (Wonder Woman). Then I get to see Ellen DeGeneres, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Rita Ora. I was able to recognize only a few. There are many more successful women from different walks of life; tech entrepreneur, comedians, activists, authors, sports personalities, politicians, actors, models. My updated knowledge of pop culture had been limited in the past few months mainly due to lack of time. I was clueless about Cardi B, overnight hip-hop sensation as they say makes her verse as a rapper in the song. In the end Levine's model wife Behati Prinsloo appears holding their daughter Dusty Rose. Behati Prinsloo is a Victoria's Secret model for the unknown. I did my little research to find out about all this and I made a mental note to know about the rest of the achievers.

This is a song by Maroon 5 from the album Red Pill Blues. Generally I don't find pop music videos very appealing and this is one of the exceptions. The tune is very catchy and hummable. It makes you feel good.

Monday, July 23, 2018

Sharp Objects

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Title: Sharp Objects
Author: Gillian Flynn
Genre: Psychological Thriller
Publication: 2006

I liked Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl and Dark Places. Somehow missed the first one and wanted to read it for quite sometime. I love her female protagonists. They are nothing like other perfect, goody two-shoes I come across in other books. They are portrayed even ghastly for my taste. Nonetheless they are sickeningly bad, bordering sociopaths. I read it somewhere Flynn saying women can be pragmatically evil, bad, and selfish and I totally agree with her.

In Nutshell:  Camille Preaker, a reporter for a Chicago newspaper was sent back to Wind Gap, Missouri, her hometown on an assignment to cover a story about a missing girl that has a startling similarities with a girl's murder a year earlier. She reluctantly agrees to return to her childhood mansion to stay with her mother Adora, her step-father, and her 13-year-old half-sister Amma. Her mother is blatantly unwelcoming and horrified to learn about Camille's work. The relationship between mother and daughter is bad from the beginning, and she had one younger sister, Marian who died young of an unknown illness.

Once in Wind Gap, Camille starts her investigation, talking to parents' and peers of missing girls. The local law enforcement wasn't helpful as they are worried about the bad media attention. She meets Kansas City detective, Richard Willis who is here to investigate the same case and gets romantically involved with him. She gets to know more about her sister, Amma who has two sides to her personality; a childish teen at home while outside she is popular, wild, drug and alcohol abuser, sexually active, and a bully.

Camille herself is an alcoholic and was institutionalized for self-destruction. Whenever she is stressed or low, she carves into her skin with sharp objects. At present she constantly battles the urge to etch the words on her skin, though mentally she does so. During her stay she stumbles upon many secrets and was able to solve the mystery of gruesome murders. As this is a thriller I would not divulge how it ends.

Camille is a damaged character. She was a wild child too while growing up. Her self-mutilation tale started immediately after Marian's death whom she was very much attached to. She is bright, independent, and self-sufficient. She tries constantly to be a good person despite having a dark past.

Narration includes substance abuse, self-mutilation, promiscuity, bullying among others. I don't know if 13 year olds can be that nasty in real world. Surely I haven't met one. None of the characters are sane here, all are twisted and sick. One exception to this might be Richard, the investigating officer. It talks about Münchausen syndrome by proxy, a condition which I have not heard before. Once I finish the book I went and did my little research on the topic. Definitely a rare disorder, but can't deny its presence. This is chilling, gripping, and brilliantly written story, clearly not for the faint-hearted. I couldn't shake it off my mind for two straight days. Flynn is one author who made me sick inside about human beings. Having said that if she writes anything else I'm desperate to get my hands on it. I liked "Sharp Objects" better than Dark Places and Gone Girl. To my surprise HBO premiered the fist episode of "Sharp Objects miniseries this very month, Amy Adams as Camille Preaker and I know she will be wonderful at that. Since I have already narrated the story of the book to hubby it is easier for me to convince him to watch the series. And we shall do that in the coming months.

Monday, July 16, 2018

To The Man Who Loved and Lived-Part 7

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Until very recently I realized my father was not a rich man, monetarily. Why I was thinking otherwise because I got everything before I could even ask. I never went hungry in my whole life. I don't have any sad stories or struggles. I never had to lift my finger until I chose to. I always had enough money to splurge on. I never gave much thought about money, until I started working of course. My siblings and I had a very comfortable life, thanks to our parents.

Father was a central government employee. He joined the service at the tender age of 21. Though grandfather amassed a lot of agricultural lands, the constant inflow of money was scarce. Its all dependent on the rain, crops, and hardship. Father had 7 siblings, 6 younger and 1 elder. He had the responsibility to get them educated and married, which he did best to his ability. But his siblings' are like leeches, always hanging around and asking for money. I never liked them and quite vocal about my aversion. He knew they are manipulative and mean, but still let them have their way sometimes. Probably he believed in "blood is thicker than water". In addition to that he had a wife and three kids to look after. And I have to thank my mother here for running the household. She is no demanding, low maintenance, hardworking lady.

It was just 6 years before his retirement the salary got hiked when the sixth pay commission came into effect. By then we were all qualified and independent. He made sure to give me the regal wedding I neither dreamt of nor desired of. I never had to pay a single rupee for my wedding. I was lucky that way because I know some of my friends had to take wedding loan and are still repaying it, and few others' siblings shouldering the burden. I'm eternally grateful to him. And he did manage to do that with my siblings' weddings as well. Education and weddings are the two important things that eats away most of one's savings.

And he decided to built a house before retirement. Since he was a government officer we always had the quarters. The downside is we had to move once every four years. He was from old school of thoughts and believed a man has to built a home in his lifetime. So, that was done just after his retirement. He wanted to connect with his roots after many years of wanderness. He became a true farmer in every sense. For the first time I have seen many organic fruits and vegetables in his farm. Once I asked him whether he will be interested to go back to his government job? And his answer was no, he loves being farmer and he enjoyed it tremendously. He was very proud showing us around the estate. Mother used to complain about him spending most of the time in the field.  Fate had different plans. Four-and-a-half years into retirement, he was taken away from everything.

I knew he was not good at financial planning, another trait I carry from him. Good thing I married a financial whiz and don't have worry about money or investments. Dad never fretted much about savings mainly because he knew he will get decent pension which will be more than enough for him and mom. He is no more, yet he made sure mom is financially independent. We were all dependent on him for many things. That realization only hit us harder when he is gone.

He was a man who made us feel safe and secure in his protective cocoon. He was a man who performed all duties and responsibilities to a T, yet never missing on living and loving life to the fullest.

Monday, July 9, 2018

The Imitation Game

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Film: The Imitation Game
Year: 2014
Cast: Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightley, Matthew Goode
Direction: Morten Tydlum

I vaguely remember hubby mentioning breaking of Enigma code that costs the Germans the World War II in one of our conversations. It was referred to him by a friend. And Benedict Cumberbatch is good enough to lure me into watching this flick. The film is roughly based on the biography, Alan Turing-The Enigma by Andrew Hodges.

During World War II, the Nazis had a crypted code that they used for the communication, which was reset every 24 hours. Decoding this was next to impossible. Then enters Alan Turing, a British, brilliant cryptoanalyst, mathematician,  computer scientist, and logician. He convinces commander Alastair Denniston to let him lead a team of handpicked mathematicians whose goal was to crack the code and win the war at any cost with lot of obstacles and complications, which they achieve eventually. Another part is in 1950s, Turing is convicted of gross indecency (homosexuality was illegal back then). Rather than go to prison for his conviction, he agrees to go through chemical castration, so that he can continue his work. This finally leads him to commit suicide at not so ripe age of 41.

Cumberbatch is brilliant as Turing. He is arrogant, distant, socially awkward, clueless. His accent, mannerism, movements are so perfect. Though I don't think he is the most handsome British, I consider him to be a great actor. In fact, I find Matthew Goode (Hugh Alexander) very attractive and intense. I last saw him and Allen Leech (John Cairncross) in Downton Abbey and it is good to have them here as mathematicians of Enigma. Keira Knightley as Joan Clarke is spunky and energetic. When Turing and Joan are together engaged, I almost wanted them to be a couple despite his orientation because they looked that cute. The initial dislike turned bond between the Enigma team is so endearing. 

This film talks a little about gender bias and prejudice against homosexuality. Even though its about mathematics, codes, it's not dull. As a matter of fact it keeps the audience fully engaged from start to finish. And it made me sad too considering Turing's huge contribution in saving many lives by turning the course of the war and what the same country did to him in the end. He is considered the father of computer science and artificial intelligence. It brought me the story of Alan Turing whom I knew nothing about until now. Later I got to know in 2009 British PM Gordon Brown made a public apology on behalf of British Government for the awful way Turing was treated following an internet campaign. And in 2013 Queen Elizabeth II granted him posthumous pardon. In 2007 more than 50,000 gay men posthumously pardoned under "Alan Turing law". In the end he was honored as a hero which was due for half a century or more.

Watch it if you like good inspirational stories.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Self-Destruction

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As I finished the book "Thirteen Reasons Why" I couldn't help but think about three of my classmates who killed themselves. The novel is about a teenage girl who commits suicide. Before dying she records a set of cassette tapes, one side for the each of 13 reasons why she decided to take her life and she made sure the 13-related parties will listen to them. I digress.

In most suicide cases we will be wondering why someone chose to end his/her life. It is especially difficult for the family and friends who will keep on thinking whether they would be able to stop it one way or the other.

In my 9th standard there was a girl called "S". I was not friends with her, just a classmate and acquaintance. We communicated when it was absolutely necessary. I knew she was staying with an uncle as her parents stayed in a remote village and it was impossible to travel back and forth to school. So, basically she was there to further her studies. One day we were all called to the auditorium early in the morning. The headmaster told us about the demise of "S". We were all in shock and trying to talk to each other confirming its out classmate, as class 8th, 9th, and 10th students were gathered. We were shushed and moment of silence was observed. As it is a norm they declared it as a holiday. It must be the first time we weren't happy about the declaration. A friendly teacher explained she was suffering from chronic headache and that is the reason. We nodded along, not believing a bit. The mystery continued until the end of academic year. It was revealed the uncle she was staying was sexually abusing her, she got pregnant, and she felt it is the only way out. How I wish we had someone from an authority to tell us what her uncle did was "statutory rape" and he should be behind the bars. The above-said uncle was a padri (father) in a Catholic Church. He continued to be respected among the religious folks. I just wished and hoped he would rot in hell for his heinous act. "S" had her own circle of friends, but maybe not close enough to share her grievance. All our teachers were good, but were very strict and judgmental. So, talking to them was not an option at all. She could have communicated with her parents, which she didn't obviously. Maybe she was scared of the victim blaming. All in all a young life was gone too soon.

The second one was my classmate in college. Lets call him "P". He was introvert, not socializing with anybody much. This was in the beginning of the college year. I didn't find anything wrong in that because I was the same, like everybody I too was making friends slowly but steadily. Within a year or so when I returned back from native, I hear the news of him committing suicide in his hometown. Why he took that extreme step nobody knows and nobody will. Was he depressed? Was the life too stressful for him? Had he displayed suicidal warning signs, which we failed to understand? I still remember one incident where he was extremely encouraging and kind to me. I had an huge, ugly arguer with a lecturer regarding the existence of God. Explanation of that tussle maybe for another post. I was angry, hurt, and distressed by the callousness of the above-mentioned teacher. Then "P" approached me and said I have every right to be an atheist and teacher's behavior was mean and unacceptable. I say this because nobody including my friends said those words. Most of them tried to change my belief with their half-baked knowledge. I don't blame them either because from 17-year-olds you can hardly expect the maturity. But "P" had that ability and kindness and he was a good man. He had a bright future ahead of him, if only he could have realized it. 

The third one again was my classmate and friend; however, the event happened much much later when she was married with a child. Her name was "J". She and I used to walk together to school. I was not prompt and good at keeping up with time, basically I was always late and in hurry. She used to sit and talk with my grandmother all and sundry. My grandmother's opinion was that except her granddaughter (read me) all other kids are responsible and disciplined. While returning back she used to go home with other kids because most of the day I had to visit the public library and she found that exercise boring and time-consuming. And whenever my grandmother catches her walking back home she used to lie on my behalf about my whereabouts. After board exam I moved out of town and I kept on seeing her once in a while visiting my grandmother, but kind of lost touch. Almost 10 years ago I heard the unfortunate news about "J". If rumors are to be believed she had marital discord. Now her child will never know his mother. Was it a spur of the moment? The girl I knew was very calm, composed, and fun. No one was mature enough to say it is okay to walk out of a troubled marriage. And who is mature was miles away from her without any contact.

All the three lives could have been saved if we as a society was able to see the red flags for suicide. I feel a little responsible though I know it's a collective failure as a community. Let us keep our eyes and heart open to the warning signs and let us hold hands to pull each other up in every way possible.

Monday, July 2, 2018

The Month That Was June

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As unbelievable as it sounds the half of the year came to an end. The June has been kind and busy as expected. It has been two months since the last holiday and itchy feet is dying to go for another. Then it dawns upon me it is not feasible with Hubby's new job and leave limitations. What I do then, the next best thing to holidays, that is planning the next. We make sure to have at least 5 to 6 itineraries handy at any given time. Our theory is we should be able to travel when the time is ready, at that moment we shouldn't worry about the journey.

The climate in Bangalore is beautiful just how it used to be a decade or so ago. All I want to do is curl up in bed and read, which I'm fortunate to do in the afternoons. Reading 6 books is quite impressive with the busy schedule and the list is "Come sundown-Nora Roberts, Live Wire-Harlan Coben, Sharp Objects-Gillian Flynn, The Fill-in Boyfriend-Kasie West, Then she was gone-Lisa Jewell, and It's All In The Planets-Preeti Shenoy"

The movies are important part of our life too.  As I said to my cousin M2 movies to us aren't just entertainment, they are religion. Quite heavy, right? Believe me it was necessary. That girl forwards movie and watches and then whines about it. For me it is nothing but blasphemy. Thirteen films are quite a number if you ask me. They are "Tomb Raider, The Great Wall, Assassin's Creed, Bharat Ane Nenu, Ibiza, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Gautamiputra Satakarni, The Con is On, Falcon Rising, Captain America: The First Avenger, Missing, Bourne Legacy, and Jason Bourne".

And our binging continued with "How To Get Away With Murder". This is quite addictive and I can't believe I started loving the characters despite them being murderers and I want them to get away with it. Am I turning into an oxymoron or what?

This month we saw few documentaries relating to travel, history, architecture and they were amazing and so informative. I would have given a disapproved look if you mention the word documentary just a year or so ago. Now, I find them fascinating and it is definitely giving an edge to my thinking process. It is really good to be open about learning new avenues, that way it not only broadens your horizon but also brightens your life.

Attended friend B's parents' wedding anniversary. It was quite an event and this is the first time we are meeting his family. We met "B" first time in Thailand three years ago and we hit it off immediately and our relationship continued from then onward. He is very special because hubby and I both can claim him to be our friend. Usually it is either hubby's friends or my friends. Even though we bond with each other's friends there is always certain kind of distance. And he must be the only guy I'm most comfortable with other than the family. He even remembers our anniversary (the day we three met) and calls to wish. How cute is that? The perks of traveling. You will never know when you make new friends.

And cousin M1 has gone to a road trip to Leh, Ladak. She is still there. I was a little apprehensive when she first mentioned this and I have told her to think twice, but that girl was determined. And I could hear my aunt saying "You're all the same, once you made up your mind, no amount of cajoling can change that".  Sure, I'm happy when we inspire others to travel. The paranoid me warned her to be "constant vigilance", well, that is mad-eye moody for you (For the unknown it is Professor Alastor Moody of Harry Potter's mantra).

That pretty much sums up my June. How about you people?