Insignia

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When I visited the bank last week I had to sign a form for some investments. When I took a closer look three signatures looked completely different from one another. Once or twice my credit card and cheques got cancelled because of the mismatch in inking. And believe it or not I've to practice signing in a notebook to get it right every single time.

When I was young I wanted to have a signature like my father. It was stylish, crisp, and cool. While filling the tenth board examination form I was told what I sign on that would be my ultimate signature and after that I can't change. So, I practiced and mastered a insignia that is nothing but cool or trendy. Over the period of time that transformed from uncool to ordinary. Now, I've a sign that is just my name with hopeless curving in the end. Sadly I remember my failed attempts to achieve that perfect sign every single time.

Adding to the agony is when soft wares of banks and others refuse to recognize my dowdy marking. This makes me wonder why can't we go back to thumb impression? It is unique and no two individuals can have the same print. It can't be forged. Why thumbing is associated with illiteracy? Doesn't cellphones these days sell with fingerprint as key security feature?

Enough with the rant now.

Goldie Locks

Well, this is not about fairy tale Goldielocks and the Three Bears. I was thinking about my gold ornaments stashed away in bank locker and it seemed liked a good title for my rant.

I never liked gold, or diamonds, platinum or silver for that matter. Many elderly women and not-so-elderly women were shocked and aghast to hear this. According to them it is not a normal behaviour for a lady. If you're a woman you got to love gold (other metals). I never believed I'm a normal person. I'm unique, so each and every other human beings. I find display of ornaments ugly and tasteless. I never brought a single carat of gold for myself. Having said that I've quite a collection of gold given by my parents and that is that. During my wedding my parents' worth was directly proportional to the weightage of jewellery I exhibited according to the jerks I call relatives. 

I forbade hubby to buy me anything in yellow metal. He, himself does not believe in the concept of investing in physical gold. Sorry to bubble the burst. Buying gold is a bad investment until and unless you enjoy putting it on display. So, as a couple that part is sorted. Still extended family never gets tired of asking if my husband brought me any gold recently. During most of such conversation I zone out. And sometimes I tell he does not need to, because he has 50 kilos gold (that's me/cheeky I know).

I even wonder at few friends who jumped into this bandwagon. During our friendship we obviously never conversed about this. Otherwise I would be knowing about their craziness. Is it their original interest? Are they giving in for peer pressure? I would not know. Rather I would not want to know. Definition of happiness is different for each.  

What is this obsession we Indian have? Once upon a time it was considered Aapat Dhana (emergency money). If your finance is going in the dumps, either you sell gold or loan it out to get out of that crunch. And it was normal for people to buy gold when there was a bumper crop as our country is agriculture-based.

As for me I would trade gold for good books any day. My prerogative is simple and basic that may look abnormal to others. While their passion for some yellow metal seems irrelevant to me. I will end this rant by agreeing to disagree.

Withering Bond

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About three months ago I was scrolling down WhatsApp, it hit me hard to know it was me who initiated the chats or conversation with friends all along. Am I the only person investing my time in these relationships? I was making an effort as I felt I owned it to them because of the past. None of them were reciprocated. Now I don't want to carry the load of trying to stay in touch every single time. Once decided it was a huge relief.

I'm the one who constantly opines every relationship needs a lot of nurture and care to sustain. It is a two-way street. Life has been super busy for everyone. If somebody is not trying to keep in touch it only means there is no space for you in their life. They are all good people. I have beautiful memories to cherish. But friendships can't be always about reminiscing good old days. They are afar not dead. Once I decided those people just vanished to thin air. I'm sure they will respond if I initiate the talk. Just that I don't have it me anymore.

As you grow old you realize all those friendships were relationships of convenience. You only get to choose from your school, college, neighborhood, colleagues. Most of the time you are not even in sink with them. Sometimes I wonder why I was friends with that particular person in the first place.

I knew that none of them share any common interest. Still I continued. Listening to their rants and raves without being judgmental. I've compartmentalized them into different boxes and catered to their needs. It was the Sagitarian in me being loyal.

And most of them are turned into crazy bigots now. Or wait! They were that from the beginning, just not mature enough to admit. Some say you cannot just unfriend a person just because he/she have a different opinion. If a person differentiates another human being based on cast, religion, creed, class, gender, race, sexuality, I don't want to be friends with such person. It is nonnegotiable. Better to cut off toxic people from life for sanity. They only bring hatred, jealousy, gloom and negativity to the table.

Being a part of blogsphere and artgram I'm introduced to several like-minded people with common interest in books, travel, films, music, social issue, and many more. We may not be great friends to hang out yet. At least I get suggestions on books, films, music, travel and more. It is good to know there are kind-hearted people out there who will not allow the fascism to win. I digress.

Having ranted I'm not bitter about anybody. I always wish and hope for their happiness. I just don't want to tread along the one-way street. 

Harmony

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On normal days I don't watch news at all. I think it must be more than 3 or 4 years now. To be informed with current affairs I read news online for few minutes and be on twitter. Screeching anchors, breaking news readers, prime time debaters have made me to turn down the television forever.

Currently I'm at in-laws' place. Here I am reintroduced to news again and nothing changed much. I'm shocked beyond my wit about how they communalize an issue at the time of a pandemic. No surprise here. India is a country that runs most on religious sentiments. At least the current situation made me to believe so.

Let's go back to my growing up years. Nothing to brag about, but neither my parents nor my grandmother were bigots.

On Christmas eve we used to walk over to friends' house to check the Christmas crib and tree. The first ever piece of cake I had was at their home. Still I vaguely remember the Carols sung by them during the moral period. Yes, those days were simple. Visiting church was an extravagant affair back then. And mind you I was not even studying in Christian convent. Bible, Jesus, Mary, Joseph stories were narrated by them in great detail. We used to giggle and whisper whether bride and groom would kiss on their wedding day. Diana, Dorita Winnie, Pinto, Fernadez, D'Souza, Chaco were very common in the class and neighbors.

Same goes for Afrin, Naseeba, Musrat, Rajiya, Nishreen, Nawaaz, Asif, Sadiq, Nehreen, and many others. At the time of Hindi Antakshari competition everybody wanted them on their team because their knowledge of songs from 50s to retro to 90s was impeccable. Since I'm a vegetarian I was always kept away from kebabs and biriyani. Only dish I was given was Sheer Khurma on Eid. I was part of their beach picnic most weekends as I was not allowed to go near water body without adult supervision because of a freak accident many moons ago.

In the same way all of them were part of our festivals be it Ganesha Chaturti or Deepavali. We all participated in large number of cultural activities as one. We were not taught to differentiate one another based on the religion, at home, at school, or in society. Partaking in town fairs with friends was the fanciful event each year.

I'm the person who has changed many schools, had different sets of friends belonging to different communities, stayed in different towns and neighborhoods, yet my experience remained same. And suddenly from the past few years all I see is hateful messages towards particular community in all forums. Even in social gatherings people spew venom as if it is the most natural thing to do. Hubby cuts down such malicious arguments then and there with logic, for that I'm proud of him. 

I've completely stopped interacting with fanatic friends and acquaintances. I've disowned bigot cousins and family members. I've tried my best to educate them on religious harmony in vain. It must be easy for them to hate somebody based on religion, caste, class, creed, or gender, but that is not me. The alarming issue is they all have children and I dread to think whom they are going to raise with so much hatred in their heart. If this hostility is passed on to next generation there is no hope for this country and we are all doomed.

History has never been kind to people who often tend to forget it.