So Far

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Everything seemed slow and lethargic, yet time moved so fast. It has been two-and-a-half years into the pandemic. No one knows whether the days of Corona are behind us. Life has been normal from the past year or we pushed it to be normal. The fear is overtaken by the frustration. I've been absent from this space for a long time. Life had been busy with traveling, reading, binge watching, and socializing. And I did not have the mojo to write anything. Every time I tried writing, the blank space stared back at me. Same with all three blogs. I know I've bitten more than I can chew.

I start everything with great enthusiasm and fanfare, but get bored easily. I'm distracted by newer things, onto it with gusto, and lose interest. And there goes the merry-go-round. This is a personality trait I'm not very proud of. Yeah, I'm the proverbial "Jack of all trades, master of none." As I type this I'm thinking of starting a blog in Kannada and my mind is already searching for apt names.

Still enjoying the perks of working from home. I don't think I can ever again go back to regular work. COVID has spoilt us in a way. It is a blessing in disguise for people like me who wants minima to zero human interactions.

We broke the barrier of traveling overseas in April visiting Nepal for our tenth wedding anniversary. Before COVID if you had money and time you could have traveled anywhere. You cannot say the same thing now. Each and every time we plan a trip, we had to weigh and calculate the risks keeping Corona in mind. It is tedious, exhausting. I'm not very fond of airports, airplanes, flying, immigration. I just tolerate them for greater good. When you are bitten by a travel bug, there is absolutely no cure.

Life has been kind so far. I hope to be frequent here. Only time will tell.

Insignia

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When I visited the bank last week I had to sign a form for some investments. When I took a closer look three signatures looked completely different from one another. Once or twice my credit card and cheques got cancelled because of the mismatch in inking. And believe it or not I've to practice signing in a notebook to get it right every single time.

When I was young I wanted to have a signature like my father. It was stylish, crisp, and cool. While filling the tenth board examination form I was told what I sign on that would be my ultimate signature and after that I can't change. So, I practiced and mastered a insignia that is nothing but cool or trendy. Over the period of time that transformed from uncool to ordinary. Now, I've a sign that is just my name with hopeless curving in the end. Sadly I remember my failed attempts to achieve that perfect sign every single time.

Adding to the agony is when soft wares of banks and others refuse to recognize my dowdy marking. This makes me wonder why can't we go back to thumb impression? It is unique and no two individuals can have the same print. It can't be forged. Why thumbing is associated with illiteracy? Doesn't cellphones these days sell with fingerprint as key security feature?

Enough with the rant now.

The Month That Was February-2021

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Two important men in my life celebrated birthday in February. My father would have been 69 this 14th. I miss hearing his reluctant 'thank you'. No amount of emotions or words can bring him back. we could have traveled only that much together. All I have now is memories of him to cherish on his birthday. Pain of losing a parent never subsides. We just learn to live with it.

And Hubby's birthday was a close-knit affair just the way he liked it. Apparently the boy of mine is growing old and I wish nothing but abundance of happiness to this old soul.

Valentine's day befell on Sunday this year. The conversation about being slave to capitalism and love should be celebrated every days is all invigorating. Why assume we don't. Why pull down people who chose to celebrate this day with their valentine? Our day was all mushy, corny, and fun.

With 'The Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia I broke the self-imposed jinx of not reading horror genre.  Other books are The Night Tiger-Yangsze Choo and The Homegoing-Yaa Gyasi. About Karvalo by K.P.Poornachandra Tejaswi, I could not stop gushing about this gem whoever care to listen. It has been a long time since I picked a book of my mother tongue only to realize what I had been missing. Parker Pyne Investigates by Agatha Christie was second in the Christichallenge2021, which was a collection of few stories. So total number 5 looks good on the chart.

Total number of movies were 10 and they are; Tribhanga (Hindi), The White Tiger (English), The Safehouse (English), Sir (Hindi), The News of the World (English), 2 Guns (English), Drishyam 2 (Malayalam), I Care For You (English), Pitta Kathalu (Telugu) and The Girl On the Train (Hindi).

One of the best series we have watched is Chernobyl (Netflix) about the nuclear disaster. We started re-watching Crown Season 1 (Netflix) because we had forgotten most of it.

Attended two weddings on one weekend, both in different towns of Karnataka. The only thing to look forward to these gatherings is food. This is what COVID isolation had turned me into, absolute non-foodie to moderate glutton.

A two-year old Aglaonema withered slowly and died. It was a gift to Hubby for attending an academic seminar in a law school. The cute little pot had no drainage hole and we just let it stay there. It took a major hit during last year's lock-down without water and nourishment, still stayed alive. I, the queen of procrastination put off transferring it to another pot for a long time. Result, completely rotted root killed the plant. Now I know how difficult it is to maintain the teeny tiny garden. I need to have a better plan to manage the time, so that I can give importance to all the varied interests I pursue.

February had been the month of celebration. March be kind.

Bohemian Raspy

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What is the one thing you want to change in your anatomy or physiology? If this question was asked a decade ago I would answered 'my voice' without batting an eye. I've a vocal with perpetual hoarseness. I may even sound manly over the telephone. However, nobody has addressed me as 'Sir' or 'Mister' yet. I lived blissfully happy life for two decades without realizing how terrible my voice is. To boot I considered myself a good singer with right knowledge of notes. None of the family members or friends dared to contradict this facade. Until Hubby arrived.

He was the first to mention my voice does not compliment my personality. Well, not that I know what my personality is. Still it made me to ponder over the matter. I recorded my voice and played it on loop for several times. And I was heartbroken to know I ain't the proverbial nightingale. The new found observation has not made any difference in my life per se. I was not trained to be a professional singer anyhow.

For the uninitiated I was a choir singer in my secondary school to sing the State song and National anthem every single day for entire three years. Don't ask me how I landed there. Either it must be my overenthusiastic young self that wanted to be everywhere or some naive teacher who delegated the task to me as none of the other students were forthcoming. As it happens I was part of a singing team that went on to perform in Akashavani (Radio), Mangalore. However, I don't remember being it relayed on the station or I would have missed on tuning the channel. So, I was not totally delusional when I said I considered myself a good singer. The whole universe had conspired along with me to believe it.

I squarely put the blame on my father for the terrible voice that I genetically inherit. Yet, he was the one who introduced me to the world of music which is still one of the greatest blessings in my life. Has the dreadful voice stopped me from singling? No Sire. I still sing my heart out to the only audience, dear Hubby. Now he is sweet enough to say I've the most unique voice. Ahem! What I would have done without this wife promoting partner of mine! 

The Month That Was January-2021

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Curfew from evening 6 to morning 6 on New Year Eve in Bengaluru. We never made any plans to head out. The logic behind night time curfew baffles me. some gentle souls say it is the scare of new strain of coronavirus that has emerged in UK. Okay, understandable.  People are roaming the city during the day without social distancing, their masks below the chin. And COVID is not a monster that crawls out only in the night.

We welcomed new year snuggled inside the quill, guzzling beer, gobbling pizzas, watching 'Soul' and of course midnight kiss. I made many number of resolutions wherein hubby did none. I honestly do not understand the man I'm married to. He is the quintessential list maker of the family. His belief is more time you take in planning less time goes for execution. And he is both great planner and executioner. I, on the other is opposite, unrealistic planning and terrible executing. Still everybody need to have new year resolution.

A health scare in the family. Uncle D had been complaining of giddiness and physicians at Manipal did TMT. He was asked to admit to hospital for angiography. As much as we hoped not to find any blockage our worse fear turned out to be true. He was advised to undergo coronary bypass. Guiding other people about a surgery is easy, but when it is your near and dear ones even I was hesitant. After taking second opinion from cardiologist classmate we decided to go ahead with the operation. The first 3 days were very stressful. After visiting him we sighed with relief. He is recovering well and fast. Cousin M1 handled everything on her own. Cousin M2 could only be there for 3 days as she had her finals. Altogether they shared responsibilities meticulously easing stress off aunt P. And I'm one proud elder sister.

I've read two very beautiful books, The Vanishing Half-Brit Bennett and The Invisible Life Of Addie LaRue-V.E.Schawb. As I've decided to take part in #readchristie challenge I picked 'The Hollow' for the month and it was okay. Because of that I'm reconsidering whether I've to continue with this. If I've to continue 12 books will be of her, which will leave me 38 books to pick from the lot. When in doubt stall the decision is the mantra to go. Another book was 'The Switch'-Beth O'Leary, a contemporary romance/chick-lit, it is the genre I try to avoid these days. The reading will be fun, no doubt. As I wanted to move to different genres probably this was not the best pick.

The movies were Soul (English), AK vs AK (Hindi), Double Jeopardy (English), The General's Daughter (English), and Paava Kadhaigal (Tamil).

Among Web Series the best was The Queen's Gambit (English/Netflix). Others are Tandav (Hindi/Prime), Bridgerton (English/Netflix) and The Undoing (English/Hotstar).

The highlight is yet to come. Our short four-day Goan holiday. If having beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner is sin then we've sinned. Beach hopping, lounging on beach chair, soaking up the vitamin sea. I'm sure I had generous dose of vitamin D as well. We swam in the sea (that is untrue because I can't swim, but you get the drift), gazing at sunsets, strolling on the beach late nights, and kissing in the moonlight. None of the city in India has the vibe like Goa. Needless to say we had an amazing time. And in Goa nobody wears masks or follows social distancing. When people were staring at me I was all hoity-toity thinking it was directed at my skimpy clothes only to realize later that I was the only person wearing mask on the entire beach.

 January was good. February be kind

The Year That Was 2020

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I had cribbed about 2020 like all others due to the obvious. The year 2020 was not a bad year for me personally. Yes, our travels took a major hit as well as outing. Due to the lockdown hubby and I get to spend some quality time together. It would not have been possible otherwise. Working from home is a total bliss. I don't think I'l be able to go out and work again. WFH saves a lot of commuting time. Since I'm not a social animal, I don't have problem being cooped up in the home. It gave me ample of time to read, write, binge watch on awesome shows.

I'm neither a foodie nor a cook. I tried to change that a little with doning a culinary hat. Among the experiences few were hit, few a miss. I (we) started an insta page to showcase the food photography. Hubby was nothing but supportive with these fickle shenanigans of mine. When I scroll down the foodstagram page it gives happiness. We cooked together whenever we can. I can safely say now I've not cooked so much in my lifetime in comparison with what I've done this year. There is little merriment in cooking. Here you create something palatable with raw materials, and the end result is satisfying. However, doing it day after day is tedious. I've a huge respect for all the women  who do it tirelessly without a complaint. I've not seen my mother ever saying 'I'm bored. I don't want to cook today". Same goes to many of older generation. I'm blessed to live in a time and city where I can order food at my fingertips. During latter part of the year we started going out to favourite restaurants.  

Another blog and insta page is dedicated to jot down our views on films, books, TV shows, Web Series, plays, theater and art. That is why you will not see film/book/drama/TV shows updates in this blog. Maintaining three blogs is really tough. Sometimes I feel I've bitten off more than I can chew. But that is what I wanted to do at that point in time. And nobody is going to question me about the consistency. The only person I'm answerable to is me. Sometime that person goes on a guilt trip for neglecting the blogspace. Our poetic journey of 2020 was beautiful.

Our tryst with gardening continued. It is the trial and error method we apply. Though not a green thumb yet, I managed not to kill all plants. Some of them withered and died much to my chagrin. This is the year I learnt about vermicompost, coco-peat, propagating, all and sundry. And harvested many batches of Malbar spinatch, fenugreek, mustard, mexican mint, and lemon grass.  

On the travel front we had gone to Mysore for Christmas weekend. It was a baby step to test the water in terms of travel. Other places were Dodda Alada Mara, Manchanabele Dam, and Hesaraghatta Lake.

Seeing the family was minimal to none due to self-imposed quarantine. Same with friends.    

And most important I've been diagnosed with vitamin D deficiency. From a couple of months I was not in my usual mojo. I had to push myself to do even the small chores. Initially I blamed it on lockdown and the pandemic. But when the push came I had to consult a physician and voila. Along with that some hormone imbalance too, for which medication was prescribed.

What a year 2020 was! Hoping for a better 2021

Goldie Locks

Well, this is not about fairy tale Goldielocks and the Three Bears. I was thinking about my gold ornaments stashed away in bank locker and it seemed liked a good title for my rant.

I never liked gold, or diamonds, platinum or silver for that matter. Many elderly women and not-so-elderly women were shocked and aghast to hear this. According to them it is not a normal behaviour for a lady. If you're a woman you got to love gold (other metals). I never believed I'm a normal person. I'm unique, so each and every other human beings. I find display of ornaments ugly and tasteless. I never brought a single carat of gold for myself. Having said that I've quite a collection of gold given by my parents and that is that. During my wedding my parents' worth was directly proportional to the weightage of jewellery I exhibited according to the jerks I call relatives. 

I forbade hubby to buy me anything in yellow metal. He, himself does not believe in the concept of investing in physical gold. Sorry to bubble the burst. Buying gold is a bad investment until and unless you enjoy putting it on display. So, as a couple that part is sorted. Still extended family never gets tired of asking if my husband brought me any gold recently. During most of such conversation I zone out. And sometimes I tell he does not need to, because he has 50 kilos gold (that's me/cheeky I know).

I even wonder at few friends who jumped into this bandwagon. During our friendship we obviously never conversed about this. Otherwise I would be knowing about their craziness. Is it their original interest? Are they giving in for peer pressure? I would not know. Rather I would not want to know. Definition of happiness is different for each.  

What is this obsession we Indian have? Once upon a time it was considered Aapat Dhana (emergency money). If your finance is going in the dumps, either you sell gold or loan it out to get out of that crunch. And it was normal for people to buy gold when there was a bumper crop as our country is agriculture-based.

As for me I would trade gold for good books any day. My prerogative is simple and basic that may look abnormal to others. While their passion for some yellow metal seems irrelevant to me. I will end this rant by agreeing to disagree.

The Month That November 2020

As a tradition we never miss Deepavali to celebrate with family. However, when I heard some known elderly couple being diagnosed and admitted to hospital due to COVID at native it scared the wits out of me to cancel the plan even before it could materialize. Instead we did a day trips to Manchanabele Dam, Dodda Alada Mara, and Hesaraghatta Lake with all corona protocols. The same weekend we visited our favourite pub after 9 months. On both accounts people were not thronging mainly because of the festival. Most of the eateries and restaurants were taking all the mandatory precautions. Still I wonder when the life will be normal where we could roam around freely without masks or constantly worrying about the virus. 

Cousin M1 rented a house and set up each and every thing on her own without any help. I could not be more proud of that little girl who grew up to become this fiercely independent woman.   

The movies we have watched are The Dark Tower (English), The Boy Who Harnessed The Wind (English), Devaki (Kannada), Ye Ma Yau (Malayalam), Ludo (Hindi), Over the Hedge (English), Big Brother (Malayalam), Klauss (English), Holidays in the Wild (English), Operation Christmas Drop (English), Mega Mind (English). Among them Ludo, Klauss and The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind tops the list. Others are okay to bad.

The web series were Body Guard (English/Netflix), Emily In Paris (English/Netflix) and Aashram 2 (Hindi/MX Player). 

The books read were Circe-Madeline Miller, Forty Rules of Love-Elif Shafak, Daddy's Girl-Danielle Steel, Anxious People-Fredrik Backman, Evidence of the Affair-Taylor Jenkins Reid, and Blue Umbrella-Ruskin Bond. Circe inspired me to read Greek mythology and hope to do the same next year maybe. Anxious People by Fredrik Backman is another amazing read. Having liked his 'A Man Called Ove' this is my second book by the author. And I did the most predictible thing, picked his another Beartown. What is with Swedish writers, first it was Stieg Larsson and now Backman. Another new found author is Elif Shafak. Forty Rules of Love is about sufi saint Shams and sufi poet Rumi. Hubby started wondering who is this Shams of Tabriz I'm quoting often in our conversation. If I continued with Shafak Turkey might be our next destination for sure.

When hubby got the opportunity to work-from-home for 15 days we decided to visit the native along with cousin M1. It was good to see mother, Ammamma and others after a gap of months.

November has been good. Hope for the kind December.

Withering Bond

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About three months ago I was scrolling down WhatsApp, it hit me hard to know it was me who initiated the chats or conversation with friends all along. Am I the only person investing my time in these relationships? I was making an effort as I felt I owned it to them because of the past. None of them were reciprocated. Now I don't want to carry the load of trying to stay in touch every single time. Once decided it was a huge relief.

I'm the one who constantly opines every relationship needs a lot of nurture and care to sustain. It is a two-way street. Life has been super busy for everyone. If somebody is not trying to keep in touch it only means there is no space for you in their life. They are all good people. I have beautiful memories to cherish. But friendships can't be always about reminiscing good old days. They are afar not dead. Once I decided those people just vanished to thin air. I'm sure they will respond if I initiate the talk. Just that I don't have it me anymore.

As you grow old you realize all those friendships were relationships of convenience. You only get to choose from your school, college, neighborhood, colleagues. Most of the time you are not even in sink with them. Sometimes I wonder why I was friends with that particular person in the first place.

I knew that none of them share any common interest. Still I continued. Listening to their rants and raves without being judgmental. I've compartmentalized them into different boxes and catered to their needs. It was the Sagitarian in me being loyal.

And most of them are turned into crazy bigots now. Or wait! They were that from the beginning, just not mature enough to admit. Some say you cannot just unfriend a person just because he/she have a different opinion. If a person differentiates another human being based on cast, religion, creed, class, gender, race, sexuality, I don't want to be friends with such person. It is nonnegotiable. Better to cut off toxic people from life for sanity. They only bring hatred, jealousy, gloom and negativity to the table.

Being a part of blogsphere and artgram I'm introduced to several like-minded people with common interest in books, travel, films, music, social issue, and many more. We may not be great friends to hang out yet. At least I get suggestions on books, films, music, travel and more. It is good to know there are kind-hearted people out there who will not allow the fascism to win. I digress.

Having ranted I'm not bitter about anybody. I always wish and hope for their happiness. I just don't want to tread along the one-way street. 

The Month That Was October-2020

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Eight months of COVID passed and Life in Time of Corona continues. Both hubby and I had fallen sick in the beginning of the month for 2 to 3 days with fever and headache. Hubby claims it to be COVID with lack of smell and taste. I on the other hand had none of those symptoms. And sickness was not unbearable. We were able to continue normal routine without much glitch. I have been having these paranoid episodes of COVID every time I sneeze or have post nasal drip. Maybe we will get an antibody test in the coming days to check whether what we had was really Corona.

This month we had our father's Shraddha (death anniversary), a ritual to be performed. Mother, siblings, and I all did it separately due to the obvious. We were brought up in a very progressive household and these customs were not followed. My father would have been very disappointed to see this charade. Still we do it for mom's peace of mind. We know for sure she insists this only because of societal pressure. For her generation "What People Say?' is difficult to overcome. When it comes to dad it was different, he was total badass and never had the patience to give a F***.  

Hubby was away for four days to attend a wedding in Mangaluru. Usually we are two peas in a pod. Since there was restriction on attendees we thought I will give a miss this time so is MIL. The truth is I dislike attending these gatherings, be it weddings, receptions, engagements, religious ceremonies all and sundry. Social distancing is nothing new to the introverts. We have been doing this for decades. I've kept myself busy with work, reading, writing, gardening. Still missed him senselessly. It was like I was having withdrawal symptoms. And we were both anxious on the day he had to travel. I digress.

Dasara was a quiet affair. Since we both don't believe in religious observance festivities for us is good food, music, drink, books, films, and conversation. As I write this I realize we do that every day and for us every day is a celebration. Maybe that is why we don't go gaga over festivals. Only one good thing about them is the holidays. In another era we used to travel in such times. Sigh!!!

The books I have read are four in numbers. I See You-Clare Mackintosh, The Night Circus-Erin Morgenstern, After The End-Clare Makintosh, Pieces of Her-Karin Slaughter. In fact Clare Mackintosh impressed me so much with 'I See You' that I had to pick her another book. She is going to be my another go to writer. A book which liked by all but failed to leave an impact was 'The Night Circus'. The writing was very prose and poetic with beautiful imagination. Yet it lacked gripping story and characters. I had thought of DNFing it many times but persisted. It definitely failed me, or rather I had very high expectation. Another equally disappointing was Karin Slaughter's Pieces of Her. Having immensely liked her 'The Good Daughter, Pretty Girls and Cop Town it was an easy pick. Though not boring it had nothing new to offer. I'm even surprised to learn this is going to be a web series airing in Netflix. I'm going to watch it anyway just to see how it is made. Sometimes visual adaptations are better than the fictions.

The moves are quite good in number too. They are Black Friday (Hindi), Ka Pae Ranasingam (Tamil), V (Telugu), Maniyarayile Ashokan (Malayalam), Serious Men (Hindi), Jallikattu (Malayalam), All President's Men (English), Nishabdham (Telugu), June (Malayalam), Ginny Weds Sunny (Hindi), Nanna Prakara (Kannada), 22 Female Kottayam (Malayalam), Chaman Bahar (Hindi), Android Kunjappan Version 5.25, and Virus (Malayalam).  Our obsession with Malayalam cinema continues. You will understand if you see the number of films of that language.

 The web series are Scam 1992 and Mirzapur 2. I've done a detailed review on mirroringart.blogspot.com of Scam 1992. What a gem of show it was. Pratik Gandhi has a new stalker on insta. Mirzapur 2 was much awaited Indian show and Vikranth Massey's absence was very much palpable. The show was breezy and crisp, and I could see the end coming. The subsequent seasons of any series are tough to make as audience always have the originals to compare with. Comparatively it is meek and slow. Still we binge watched over an weekend. That explains what an oxymoron I'm.

I long to go and see my mother and Ammamma. I hope I will be able to do that in the coming months. Cousin M1 is the only visitor we had. There is a lot of gossip doing the rounds in the family about her not agreeing for marriage yet. It was the same a decade earlier about me. And it shall continue with generations to come. Because that is what they enjoy and that is what their life about. I'm not proud of them. If I could I would have disown them.

October had been kind. Hoping to say the same about November.

Month That Was September-2020

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It is going to be seventh month staying-home-staying-safe this September. For a introvert like me it is a blessing in disguise. I don't miss going to work. In fact, I'll be sad if they ask us to join the work force. Working from home gives me ample time to read, write, cook, tend to plants, and binge on favourite TV Shows and movies. Major hit I took is cancelling all our travels. And our weekend visits to theater, musicals, pubs, restaurants, comedy shows, and others. Though dramas, comedy shows, musicals are offered online somehow it does not feel right. Some art forms should be viewed face-to-face along with the crowd.

Complete stop to outside eating also means more cooking at home. I just know the basics of cooking. I do not enjoy the process. However, this pandemic forced me to don my culinary hat to dish out different cuisine. During the course some items are hit and others miss. What I've realized is cooking is not a big deal. One need little logic and practice while making any dish. I'm still in the learning curve to understand the ingredients and its use. Hubby is of the opinion I do not relish cooking because I'm not a foodie. True, I rarely go out of my comfort cuisine. Probably the pandemic will help to change that.

With self-imposed writing deadline it was a surprise that I could finish four books this month. They are The Dutch House-Ann Patchett, The Girl Who Played with Fire-Steig Larsson, The Book Thief-Markus Zusak, and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest-Stieg Larsson. The Book Thief was a DNF from last year. Despite people raving about this I didn't like the book as much. In fact, I've liked the film adaptation much better. The Millennium series on the other hand are the best crime thriller I've read so far. Salander is a character that is both unorthodox in style and attitude. She is a victim and survivor. She is going to be my favourite for a very long time.  

The television shows we watched are Bandish Bandit, Ashram, and Tales from the Loop. The amazing Bandish Bandit restored our intestrest in Indian classical music once again. Both BB and Tales from the Loop deserves a detailed review.

The movies we have watched are C U Soon (Malayalam), Mundina Nildana (Kannada), Desert Flower (English), Hard Kill (English), Dia (Kannada), Kappela (Malayalam), Little Women (English), and Cargo (Hindi).

Cousin M1 is the only visitor to our humble abode. That girl runs away from the word 'CO'. Since hubby was busy judging moot court, mediation, and client counseling we went for plant shopping. 

I had to let go chilly and tomato plants due to no pollination. They flower and wither without bearing fruits. I've read mustard plants attract the bees, however, could not spot one in the balcony. Probably I need to research more about cross and artificial pollination. For now I've to be happy with microgreens and herbs. I've dried and bottled few Mexican mint and lemongrass to be used in morning tea. They give the perfect aroma which is refreshing and immunity booster.

September was peaceful. October be kind. 

What's in a Name

 "That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.”-William Shakespeare

A colleague recently asked me to suggest names for her kid. If it was three years earlier I would have obliged too. Now neither I've the inclination nor the energy. I don't know what is that aspect people see in me. I've been constantly asked to take up the task to suggest names. It has been more than two decades since I was doling out my opinion. Many of them have picked from the pool and named their children. Whenever I hear about them in conversation it brings a smile on my face.

My father never understood the gravity of the situation. He ridiculed us when we were zeroing down on names for Nephew V. His opinion is what the title of this post makes "What's in a name". With the same attitude he named all his children, some are happy, some are not. EB wanted a simpler name for his child as he goes through the painful process of laborious name my parents bestowed upon him. The name we selected was simple, trendy, and cool. And in this eight years there are 3 people from far relatiion copying the same name. Sheer laziness of people I tell you. The unbelievable part is that those three people are first cousins. Despite all that our little nephew will be the original 'V'.

I'm not very fond of Nephew A's name. Not because it was not suggested by me. It is simple and trendy, but lacks the oomph.

In my college days I've written three novels, which were read by only close friends. And those who did named their children after my protagonists. None of them acknowledges it. My belief is that they want their son/daughter to grow up as strong and independent as my characters. If I can inspire and influence my reader to that extent, I must be a good writer. I take it as a best compliment.

Current trend is to name the child by combining parents' name. Though Raveena Tandon's parents started it 46 years ago, it became a rage after Shahid Kapoor named his daughter. In an attempt to coin this I have seen parents ridiculously naming their children. When I'm told the logic behind the name it was hard not to roll my eyes. No, I'm not insensitive to rubbish their selection on their face. I've a blog here for that, right?

It is my strong belief that expecting parents have already selected a name, one for each gender. Without revealing that they want to fish for more options. Nothing wrong in that. It is just that I don't have the patience to go fishing.

I beg to differ Shakespeare here. Giving a beautiful and meaningful name to a child is important as that becomes his/her personality. Just make sure that one day the grown-up child won't come to you and demands to know why you have given that particular name to him/her.

On the hindsight I'm happy with my given name and thank my mother for the choice. My father would have disappointed me here. And he was the man who uniquely names his Yakshagana characters. Priority of this man! 

Month That Was August-2020

Hubby has joined new work force this month. Though he had resigned in July had to serve one-month notice period. He was not seriously looking for the job change. He was just updating job profile and this new opportunity fell on his lap with better prospect. I was happy because it is closer to home and will cut down the commuting time. Many well-wishers were against this change because of the dwindling job market. But all our decisions are well-thought and so far they have panned out well for us.

For the first time I've not send Rakhees for Rakshabandhana. The shop where I buy cards and Rakhee was always crowded so was the post-office. After few failed trips I've decided to the cancel the plan. While talking to brothers they also opined not to bother this time.

Both nephews celebrated birthday this month, 8 and 2 respectively. When I called nephew V, he was very excited about the cake and other junks associated with it. Staying at home he has put on a little weight I'm told. At the same time he has forgotten Kannada and Hindi letters. In fact he is very happy about not going to school. I was reluctant to attend Nephew A's close-knit birthday celebration. Though I'm isolated Hubby goes to office regularly and chances of his exposure is more. However, YB will not listen to my reasoning. I was scared to go near the kid or hold him. The little fellow now talks incessantly, is able to recognize colours, birds, animals, letters, fruits and vegetables. When I mentioned he is going to be very smart, YB refuted saying all kids are smarter these days. He and his modesty! My dad would be so happy and he will be missed dearly.

The next week YB's apartment was sealed down due to Corona positivity in some neighbors. The same week nephew A started having cold and fever. Paranoid me was quick to think it is COVID. We were all frightened and worried. Fortunately, it turned out to be some other viral fever and he is back to normal. But how long this paranoia will continue?

People think I'm scared more of this virus than necessary. From the beginning it is never about me. Even if I get positive I'll be able to recover in no time. Can I say the same about my loved ones, especially the tiny tots and elders? Well-being of them worries me the most. One of our classmates' father succumbed to COVID this month. Despite all the ridicule, the seriousness of the pandemic looms over us. 

 I have read five books this month. They are A Hundred Little Flames-Preeti Shenoy; The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo-Steig Larsson; Hunting Party-Lucy Foley; Verity-Colleen Hoover; and The Perfect Roommate-Minka Kent, most of them are mystery/thriller genre. I need to cut down on this.

The television shows we watched are Sweet Magnolia-Season 1, Killing Ever-Season 3, and The Blacklist-Season 1. We decided not to binge on Blacklist because the continuity was not necessary for this show.

On movies front we have watched Forensic (Malayalam), Just Mercy (English), Raat Akeli Hai (Hindi), Ghoomketu (Hindi), Yaara (Hindi), Khuda Hafiz (Hindi), Athiran (Malayalam), Doordarshan (Hindi), Ishq (Malayalam), Om Shanthi Oshana (Malayalam). Our obsession with Malayalam cinema continues and we think they are way ahead of other industry in movie making.

For Ganesha Festival we had cousin M1 with us. As usual our experiments in kitchen continued. The jade that was thriving died on us. It was withering for quite sometime. We tried repotting, keeping in sun for sometime, and balanced watering. Nothing seemed to work. It was saddening to see plants die. So much for my bragging on green thumb.

August was good. September be kind 

Friends-Episode 3

Just got off from an abrupt call with N1. Due to online classes and assignments, it is difficult for her to have the cell phone for herself. We could not have a lengthy and proper conversation like we used to have.

Since this is a Friendship Day month I thought of continuing the Friendship series which I had started a year or so ago.

I joined a new school for my fifth standard at Ammamma's place. For the first one week I was in section A only to be transferred to section B. I don't exactly remember how we first met. I should probably ask N1 next time when we talk.

In no time we were best friends. We started going around together. She was my giggling, gossiping, and playing mate at school. We even formed a formidable group against the bullies. Who says children's life is easy? We were into groupism from the tender age of 10. Otherwise it was hard to survive the school politics. I digress.

She was a frequent visitor to my home and I to hers. There were many instances where we have gone to beach without any adult supervision oblivious to the elders. We had our own dance troupe to choreograph to. Since we were inseparable it was easy to find us in the school campus.

For high school she moved to another city. That did not stop our relationship. We continued communicating through letters, and meet whenever she visited her parents. I attended her wedding, and that was the last contact. Both of us got busy in our own life. I've tried making contacts through social medial without any luck. Most women change their name after marriage, so did she. There is no way I could remember her husband's name. Since I knew all her siblings' name I tried that as well. Three years ago I was able to track her brother on FB. I messaged with my number and info. I just cannot assume him to remember his sister's friend of another era. Within two days I got a call from her. The feeling was ecstatic. Both of us were talking, laughing, and pausing simultaneously. Looks like she was trying to search me as well all these years. I was touched when she said 'I was searching with your birthday'. It never occurred to me to try that method. 

She was surprised to know I had a choice marriage. She reminded me of my equal rights activism, which I had forgotten completely. She just assumed my feminism amounting to man hating. The conversation was walking down the memory lane. Many moments which had slipped my mind were brought back by her prodding. And few others that I had to jog her memory to. 

Being a mother to three beautiful children she fails to understand my childfree status, but quick to add that I was different from the rest since the beginning. Now we talk frequently whenever we find time. And try to be in constant touch through WhatsApp. Nothing much has changed between us. We both carry that innocence of childhood in our heart.

Happy Friendship day

The Month That Was July-2020

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July was not any different from June. The Covid-19 situation still continues. Number of cases in the city, state as well as country has increased. The death toll has reached 30,000. For our vast population the mortality seems minuscule. Only loved ones know the pain when there is death in the family. Government, bureaucrats, and people show lack of apathy. I can understand the plight of people who are out there to earn livelihood. What about others who loiter around without any reasons? It is hard to stay put in one place all the time and we have been doing it from the past five months. This is where civic sense and responsibility comes. We may not get infected. Even if we may survive because of youth and stamina. What if we become asymptomatic carriers to pass on the germ to others? Hubby and I make sure to turn down all the invitations from family and friends alike to hang out as most of them have small children or aged parents. Cousin M1 visited and that girl is more paranoid than I ever was. And for the unknown she has been in isolation for the last five months.

Our life continued staying at home, social distancing, wearing masks while going out for essentials, sanitizing, and glaring at people when they come too close to our comfort. My favourite quote for anyone who cares to listen is "Just because you have forgotten pandemic does not mean that pandemic has forgotten you".

The reading journey continued with five books this month. They are Queenie-Candice Carty Williams; Overdue Life of Amy Byler-Kelly Harms; Where the Crawdads Sing-Delia Owens; The Guest List-Lucy Foley; Sex and Vanity-Kevin Kwan. I was hoping to see the screen adaptation of 'Where the Crawdads sing" while reading, and to my delight Reese Witherspoon will be producing the film and it is in pre-production.

We had watched total 17 movies and they are; The Monuments Men (English) Vettah (Malayalam), Anveshanam (Malayalam), Beverly Hills Cops 1 (English), Beverly Hills Cop 2 (English), Beverly Hills Cop 3 (English), Memories (Malayalam), Mamangam (Malayalam), Spencer Confidential (English), Murder Mystery (English), 6 Underground (English), French Biriyani (Kannada), Law (Kannada), Gentleman (Kannada), Blood Shot (English), Shakuntala Devi (Hindi), HIT (Telugu).

We had watched good numbers of TV shows too. They are "Out of Love, Hostages, Bose:Dead or Alive, She, Test Case, TVS Pitcher.

I couldn't spend much time gardening this month. Still the plants are not complaining. I'm rethinking about planting tomatoes and chilies. I knew they are going to take four months to harvest. When all the micro-greens gives me a week to 10 days'supply, waiting for tomatoes and chilies seems longer. And they take lot of space too. We were thinking about creating more vertical space to accommodation few more plants. The search for that one particular stand is on. Our stint in the kitchen continued as well. 

Despite all these I miss traveling terribly. Any future travel seems bleak this year. Our friends constantly ask us how we are coping with the situation as most of them knew our passion for travel. We just say we are bidding our time. We (us, family and friends) consider ourselves fortunate if we could sail hurt through this pandemic. I might sound like an obsessive paranoid, which I'm about the Covid-19. 

July has been kind. How was yours?  

Green Thumbs-Up

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While growing up we always had huge garden and farm land. Blessed to be born into a family of gardeners and farmers, my only interest in them was watering. Sprinkling or gushing water with big hose pipe is total merriment. That could be one of the reasons I still enjoy washing cars. Climbing trees and plucking mangoes, cashew nut fruits, Chikoo, Blackberries, Rose Apples were as easy as it could get. Monitoring the children very closely was not vogue back then. Any kind of mishap will be reported to the parents if it is absolutely necessary (read serious injury). I digress.

I never had any interest in gardening. In fact, I have never given a thought on how vegetables, fruits and flowers grow. I hate to be out in the sun. I used to make a huge fuss when asked to pluck the curry leaves. Despite that I was a frequent visitor during the rice cultivation season, from plowing to tilling to sowing to harvesting. Probably that is why I love rice!!!

My father was a man with green thumb. He nurtured and cared for plants and garden like his own kids. His vegetable patch was feast for the eyes and delicious on the taste buds. I used to gift him few plants and that was end of my responsibility.

As I've mentioned in my earlier posts we are trying to make a tiny balcony into an organic green patch and it was coming out quite okay. Then we got stuck in native during the unplanned lock-down. When we returned all our plants, both indoor and outdoor were dead, but for the Aloe Vera. We could not forgive ourselves for killing them. If it was not for the 'Aloe" we would not even think about going ahead with gardening. The little Aloe had turned into dark from its original green. Without much hope we watered it and within three days the colour returned and the foliage was bright. Not only that we could propagate and re-pot the little pup off the mother. I have named them Xena and Hope respectively. Since then we have been planting micro-greens and harvesting them every other week.

We were able to solve the bug infestation with sprinkling neem oil. We've learnt the art of propagating the plants to a certain extent. We made the colossal blunder of making organic compost at home with limited resource and the stench will haunt us for a very long time. We tried to shift the plants from full sunlight to partial. Sometimes we over-watered the plants and sometimes under-watered them. Weekends were spent in potting, propagating, re-potting, harvesting, and sowing. The herbs were used in tea, salads, chutney, stir fry, and sambar. The Malabar spinach has been my favourite leafy vegetable since time immemorial. Now, I have the privilege of growing, harvesting, and enjoying them in culinary. The supply is not sufficient to fulfill our weekly demand. We still buy vegetables from outside. But the happiness to see the sprout is endless and the little effort is totally worth.

Gardening is no rocket science. There is no right or wrong. We learn it by experience. Plants are the most resilient. They tolerate sun, rain, heat, cold, bugs. Still they thrive to sustain with whatever little they have. We may not be able to give them lot of attention but they bloom and flourish with minimum care. Co-gardening with hubby also lets us to spend more quality time together.

Green thumb is a total myth. Anybody can garden with little patience and effort. One day we are hoping to get the mythical and proverbial 'Green Thumb' tag. Until then happy gardening.

The Month That Was June-2020

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Monsoon started in the state and the climate in Bangalore is to die for long drives. However, consciously we made the decision not to venture out even if its in our private vehicle. Hubby started going to office from this month and my paranoia knew no bounds. Almost spending two-and-a-half months together day in and day out, this separation was painful. This must be the first time in 14 years' of our relationship that we get to spend so much quality time together. My withdrawal symptoms were evident. Have I forgot to gush about how Hubby being my own personal brand of drug?

I compensated the void by reading five books this month; Huntress-Kate Quinn, The Alice Network-Kate Quinn, The Lost Man-Jane Harper, In Five Years-Rebecca Serle, and Daisy Jones and the Six-Taylor Jenkins Reid. After liking Huntress, I picked Quinn's 'The Alice Network', both historical fictions. I put an end to my obsession over single writer and picked other new authors.    

The movie count was 11 for this month; Vrithra (Kannada), Sarileru Neevevvaru (Telugu), Maya Bazaar (Kannada), Brahma (Telugu), Gulabo Sitabo (Hindi), Shylock (Malayalam), Jumanji The Next Level (English), Choked (Hindi), Bulbul (Hindi), Unda (Malayalam), Call of the Wild (English).

We had continued our binge watching journey of Indian serials streamed on OTT platforms. They are Panchayat, Criminal Justice, Kota Factory, Taj Mahal 1989, and Aarya. I wish and hope to do a detailed review on at least few books, movies, and TV shows in the coming days.

The "stayhomestaysafe" has pushed us to don our reluctant chef hats. Hubby and I are trying our hands on cooking especially on weekends. We have started a new Insta page to show off our culinary skills and our new stints with gardening. There is always something new to learn while caring for plants. The Mexican mint leaves were wilting away even after watering adequately. I tried to keep it in full sunlight as well as partial but to no avail. Videos on gardening tells me it might be bug infested, though I could not locate any. It also suggests to sprinkle Neem oil on the plants and voila, it worked like a charm. Now the plant looks healthier and bright.

We also celebrated MIL's 60th birthday without much fanfare. The usual cake, balloons, music, food, and beverages. Ideally this is her retirement year. However, the school requested her to work for few more years and she is more than happy to oblige. She does not want to sit idle and while away time. And in the present scenario it is unlikely that she need to go to school full-time. We told it is entirely her decision whether to continue work or not.

One Friday evening while watering the plants I have noticed some barricade in front of the next-door neighbour's house. Unable to figure out what it was I called Hubby to make inquiry while returning home. It turned out the barricade was not actual barricade, but that house has been sealed down due to COVID positive. I was shocked to hear the news. Though we have never been in touch with those people the message was loud and clear. The pandemic is very much real and closer than we think. Cousin M1 was supposed to come home for the weekend as she had to attend her close friend's lockdown wedding. She chickened out after hearing the corona positivity around the neighbourhood. Once the initial shock wears off I was quite thrilled to have COVID positive neighbour. I'm quite eerie that way.

We were safe and healthy. That is all we could hope for.

To The Man Who Loved and Lived-Part 10

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It makes me angry if I see WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram on Father's day.  People are all sharing pictures of their father or father of their children. I've nothing against anybody. It reminds me of my loss, which I'am unable to make peace with. The pain is constant. Only memories are to hold on to. Those memories are the treasure now.
My father had a weird sense of humor. He was not hesitant to bring upon death in conversation. Probably that is why we always make fun about our impending deaths and it was never shushed up. Whenever I called him to wish on Father's day he never says Thank you. He says Father's day is the day when one's father dies every freaking time. As I roll my eyes I could hear him guffawing at the other end. I could see his eyes crinkling and his body shaking with laughter. And we continue our chat like any other day. While growing up Father's day was not trending and it is a recent phenomenon. Still he never once said we are aping foreign culture by celebrating Father's day. Now you know how I become the global child.

Whenever I go home for holidays everyone in dad's office would know of my arrival. No, I'm not that nosy or loud. I always have this habit of painting both my parents' nails with latest splash. He would flaunt those colours proudly with elan announcing his daughter's visit. How many fathers will indulge their children's quirky nature in this way? I don't know any.

When his hair is grown a little I used to put a tiny pigtail on him. Yet, I didn't want his colleagues to see this. On appearance he looks serious, strict, fierce, and little scary. Only loved ones knew his soft, mushy, and childish side.

Many people don't know I started watching cricket for Rahul Dravid. I had a huge crush him. I never stuck any posters of him on wall or anything. And it would not even get noticed when you have two cricket fanatic brothers coexisting. Coincidentally I was vacationing at home when Rahul Dravid got married. And my father started pulling my legs by saying "Ah he is married now".

Same goes to Shahrukh Khan. He was my favourite since Baazigar. No, I didn't wait for Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge to happen. However, I never had any crush on him. And my father never missed a chance to make fun of him whenever SRK appeared on television. That would lead to a squabble and me sulking for the rest of the dinner. He used the same trick on my brothers who adored Sachin Tedulkar. It took us sometime to understand his tricks or probably we grew out of that adoring celebrity stage.

And he was our partner-in crime in wrestle mania. This theater form was introduced by my brothers and we're all hooked simultaneously much to the annoyance of mother. Even after we flew out of nest my father continued with this pastime. It was a delight to see him enjoying this mock combat and drama. He will be so engrossed in it shaking his head, laughing, cheering. And we discussed about it as if that is most important topic in the whole universe until the novelty of this drama faded out. Mother used scold us all saying we all have violent streak in our gene, otherwise how can anybody stand such an aggressive and rough show.  

As he is not coming back memory is all I've and memory is all I shall cherish.

The Month That Was May-2020

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When the lock-down 2.0 was lifted the private vehicles were allowed to move intrastate as well as interstate with passes. We had applied for passes in Taluk office. It is here we witnessed the disaster caused by the unplanned 4-hour notice lock-down. The entire area was crammed up without any social distancing and police were trying really hard to control the crowd. People from other states looked horrid and helpless without knowing the local language and no clear instructions on what to follow. Have you ever wondered why News channels do not give such information, which could help the stranded people? Does anybody know what to do when tested COVID positive? No, Arogyasetu app does not solve anything. We helped few people to get their documents in order. Fortunately, KPSclearpass website was up by noon and we obtained one-time one-way pass online. Still we wanted to see whether we will get the physical pass that we applied in the morning. The place was still jam-packed without any respite. As luck would have it we procured the physical pass as well. 

During the journey we were stopped once for the pass and twice for temperature check. The police on-duty looked haggard, overworked and tepid. The pandemic is taking a toll on everybody in individual capacity. Though we weren't instructed we compulsorily followed the home-quarantine measures.

The home was not a disaster as was expected. Sadly all our garden plants died but for aloe vera. They paid the price for our mistakes and it is deeply hurting. If it was not for our beloved 'Aloe' we wouldn't dare to venture out gardening again. For me our little Aloe is the Corona survivor, the symbol of hope. The labour of repotting, seeding, sowing, propagating, watering continued. The joy of seeing the tiny seedling is immense and rewarding. The once forgotten dream of becoming the farmer has kicked in again. If my father was alive he would be proud I guess!

We had lot of catching up to do with movies and we did; Thappad, Angreji medium, Street Dancer, Varathan, Kannum Kannum Kollaiyadithaal, Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan, Extraction, Chaapak, Trance, Body, Frozen 2, Darbar, Ayyappanum Koshiyum, Haram, Bad Boys For Life, Ford Vs Ferrari, House Owner.

Reading took a backseat with hubby to goof around. 'A Woman is No Man by Etaf Ram was the only book I was able to read. I've the next months to compensate on that.

The first television series we consumed was fourth season of 'The Last Kingdom' followed by the superb Patal lok. I need to do a review on this show soon. To take a break from the intense crime thriller we settled on 'Four More Shots Please' allegedly Indian version of 'Sex and the City' much to Hubby's chagrin. Despite the reservedness both of us enjoyed the show. We concluded the month with Special Ops and Asur.

E. Brother is contemplating about quitting the job. The job market is not favourable in this pandemic. Anyway he is worn out from the current one and feels if he could not leave it now he probably will never be able to. Even though worried, I'm nothing but supportive in whatever decision he makes. 

We completed and celebrated our 14th year of being together in a quiet manner only to hope next year it would be a gala event. For the first time we had no choice on this matter. With no restaurants, pubs, theaters, and restrictions on traveling where on earth one can hope to go? For an introvert person like me social distancing is not a problem. However, I would like to have the options of going out anytime anywhere whenever I want. A small virus is causing havoc all over the world and bringing every one to their knees.

May has been kind.  Hoping for better June. 

I Still Fall For You Every Day

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This ain't a song or a poem. We all imagined falling in love with a person in a romantic way. When one does the Adrenalin rush is immense. Everyone would have experienced the excitement to hear their voice, the eagerness to meet them, talking endlessly to sweet nothing, seeing the world through rose-tinted glass. Being in love is a wonderful feeling. I'm not trying to be a love expert here.

I fell head over heels in love with this amazing soul 14 years ago. And I still fall for him every single day. When his name flashes on my phone I have this goofy smile from ear to ear. His talks are music. My heart starts racing every time I see him. No, I don't have tachycardia. I start missing him the moment he leaves. I feel Monday blues not to go to work, but for being separated from him after spending weekends together. I can't get enough of his snuggle dose. I can't keep my hands off him when he is around. I'm not addicted to any substance. Nonetheless, he is my own brand of drug.

Six years of courtship and eight years of tying the knots has not changed anything in our relationship status. I feel married only when visiting the extended family. And lot of people say I have not changed after marriage. I always swallow down the urge to say "I'm just married, not reborn". I digress.

It is easy to fall for a person who is dashing, super intelligent, kind, and confident. It is easier to fall for a person who believes in equality. How hard it is to fall for a liberal who roots for individual choice every single time?

I never found jealousy and possessiveness in a boyfriend endearing. If he was so, it would have raised a red flag in the beginning. A self-assured and secured man is foremost important in any relationship. Among millions of good qualities about him, why I emphasize only on few? Today many people aspire to become a couple like us. They were vocal enough to say we set their relationship goals right. I'm flattered and humbled every time somebody says this because that is a huge compliment. In a hurry to get into a relationship they fail to see the caliber of the person who made it possible, and wreck their relationship. I'm anguished for any broken alliances, be it friends or foes, especially if they were influenced by us.

Why being with self-assured and secured person is important? Because he does not stifle your personal space. He only encourages and cheers you for the smallest accomplishments. When somebody shares the household chores without a hitch you will realize why being a believer in equality is important in the long run. When you feel you're living the life you wanted to live you will understand why having a liberal watching your back is imminent. People say I'm lucky to find such a life-partner. I could not agree more. At the same time this person was not hand-picked by my parents and handed over to me on a 'arranged marriage' platter. Falling in love is easy and its novelties are astonishing. But holding to that person against all odds was my choice. Family, friends, society tried very hard to break the spirit in all possible ways with good intention. (With good intention) is added especially to keep everyone happy who stalk this space occasionally. 

Falling in love is beautiful. Falling in love with the right person is magical. Keep in search of that wonderful person who loves you the way you are. When you do, make the choice to hang on to them. Life doesn't come with a warranty card. Invest time and emotions in a relationship, not money. I'l stop the ranting before I turn into an annoying preacher.

Falling in love with you is easy. And staying in love with you is easier because I still fall for you every single day. Hope you find time to read this piece one day. Happy anniversary to us.