Misery

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A terrible thing happened last week. We were on our holidays and friend S1 called with bad news. When I was in high school we were a group of five friends. We were always together in school. Even after school we used to chat on telephones. Those were the days of landlines. I remember my ammamma scolding me for being on phone most evenings. Thankfully, she used to have her own friends visiting her at the same time, so there was no eavesdropping. School was fun because of R, M, S1 and S2.

Fast forward 25 years. We have a WhatsApp group, named fabulous five. It was slightly altered and labelled after Enid Blyton's 'The Famous Five' series by yours truly. Barring early days, the group was silent for the most part. It was active during birthdays, anniversaries, and festivals. Rather than chatting through messages we were comfortable conversing with each other. It was not regular, but we were abreast with what was happening in each other's life. 

M has a grown up daughter. She and I follow each other on Instagram. Though we have not met I felt like I know this girl from the status updates and her mother's narration. That little girl committed suicide. I was in utter shock, so are my friends. More than that we are worried about M. She was the most soft and sensitive girl in our group. We know how this incident is going to turn her life upside down. She had wonderful home, loving husband, financially sound background and two beautiful children. She was this person who counted her blessings every single day. She was an ardent devotee and pious woman. Is it God's way of testing her devotion?

In my mind M is just a girl with school uniform and curly hair in two braids. It pains to think about her soft and giggling voice. It pains to think about her at all. They say sorrow of losing child is eternal. They say time heals everything. In this case I want the second one to be true for my friend's sake.

I feel sad for that little girl who took this extreme step. People ask me why the girl who had everything had to take her own life? Was she suffering from depression? Most probably yes. I could not sense an iota of sadness or cry for help through her social media. She seemed like the usual teenager who did the adolescents stuff. Fortunately or unfortunately she had written a death note citing the reasons for her death. I don't know if that is good enough closure for her parents and kid brother.

Reeling with heavy heart