The Year That Was 2020

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I had cribbed about 2020 like all others due to the obvious. The year 2020 was not a bad year for me personally. Yes, our travels took a major hit as well as outing. Due to the lockdown hubby and I get to spend some quality time together. It would not have been possible otherwise. Working from home is a total bliss. I don't think I'l be able to go out and work again. WFH saves a lot of commuting time. Since I'm not a social animal, I don't have problem being cooped up in the home. It gave me ample of time to read, write, binge watch on awesome shows.

I'm neither a foodie nor a cook. I tried to change that a little with doning a culinary hat. Among the experiences few were hit, few a miss. I (we) started an insta page to showcase the food photography. Hubby was nothing but supportive with these fickle shenanigans of mine. When I scroll down the foodstagram page it gives happiness. We cooked together whenever we can. I can safely say now I've not cooked so much in my lifetime in comparison with what I've done this year. There is little merriment in cooking. Here you create something palatable with raw materials, and the end result is satisfying. However, doing it day after day is tedious. I've a huge respect for all the women  who do it tirelessly without a complaint. I've not seen my mother ever saying 'I'm bored. I don't want to cook today". Same goes to many of older generation. I'm blessed to live in a time and city where I can order food at my fingertips. During latter part of the year we started going out to favourite restaurants.  

Another blog and insta page is dedicated to jot down our views on films, books, TV shows, Web Series, plays, theater and art. That is why you will not see film/book/drama/TV shows updates in this blog. Maintaining three blogs is really tough. Sometimes I feel I've bitten off more than I can chew. But that is what I wanted to do at that point in time. And nobody is going to question me about the consistency. The only person I'm answerable to is me. Sometime that person goes on a guilt trip for neglecting the blogspace. Our poetic journey of 2020 was beautiful.

Our tryst with gardening continued. It is the trial and error method we apply. Though not a green thumb yet, I managed not to kill all plants. Some of them withered and died much to my chagrin. This is the year I learnt about vermicompost, coco-peat, propagating, all and sundry. And harvested many batches of Malbar spinatch, fenugreek, mustard, mexican mint, and lemon grass.  

On the travel front we had gone to Mysore for Christmas weekend. It was a baby step to test the water in terms of travel. Other places were Dodda Alada Mara, Manchanabele Dam, and Hesaraghatta Lake.

Seeing the family was minimal to none due to self-imposed quarantine. Same with friends.    

And most important I've been diagnosed with vitamin D deficiency. From a couple of months I was not in my usual mojo. I had to push myself to do even the small chores. Initially I blamed it on lockdown and the pandemic. But when the push came I had to consult a physician and voila. Along with that some hormone imbalance too, for which medication was prescribed.

What a year 2020 was! Hoping for a better 2021

Goldie Locks

Well, this is not about fairy tale Goldielocks and the Three Bears. I was thinking about my gold ornaments stashed away in bank locker and it seemed liked a good title for my rant.

I never liked gold, or diamonds, platinum or silver for that matter. Many elderly women and not-so-elderly women were shocked and aghast to hear this. According to them it is not a normal behaviour for a lady. If you're a woman you got to love gold (other metals). I never believed I'm a normal person. I'm unique, so each and every other human beings. I find display of ornaments ugly and tasteless. I never brought a single carat of gold for myself. Having said that I've quite a collection of gold given by my parents and that is that. During my wedding my parents' worth was directly proportional to the weightage of jewellery I exhibited according to the jerks I call relatives. 

I forbade hubby to buy me anything in yellow metal. He, himself does not believe in the concept of investing in physical gold. Sorry to bubble the burst. Buying gold is a bad investment until and unless you enjoy putting it on display. So, as a couple that part is sorted. Still extended family never gets tired of asking if my husband brought me any gold recently. During most of such conversation I zone out. And sometimes I tell he does not need to, because he has 50 kilos gold (that's me/cheeky I know).

I even wonder at few friends who jumped into this bandwagon. During our friendship we obviously never conversed about this. Otherwise I would be knowing about their craziness. Is it their original interest? Are they giving in for peer pressure? I would not know. Rather I would not want to know. Definition of happiness is different for each.  

What is this obsession we Indian have? Once upon a time it was considered Aapat Dhana (emergency money). If your finance is going in the dumps, either you sell gold or loan it out to get out of that crunch. And it was normal for people to buy gold when there was a bumper crop as our country is agriculture-based.

As for me I would trade gold for good books any day. My prerogative is simple and basic that may look abnormal to others. While their passion for some yellow metal seems irrelevant to me. I will end this rant by agreeing to disagree.

The Month That November 2020

As a tradition we never miss Deepavali to celebrate with family. However, when I heard some known elderly couple being diagnosed and admitted to hospital due to COVID at native it scared the wits out of me to cancel the plan even before it could materialize. Instead we did a day trips to Manchanabele Dam, Dodda Alada Mara, and Hesaraghatta Lake with all corona protocols. The same weekend we visited our favourite pub after 9 months. On both accounts people were not thronging mainly because of the festival. Most of the eateries and restaurants were taking all the mandatory precautions. Still I wonder when the life will be normal where we could roam around freely without masks or constantly worrying about the virus. 

Cousin M1 rented a house and set up each and every thing on her own without any help. I could not be more proud of that little girl who grew up to become this fiercely independent woman.   

The movies we have watched are The Dark Tower (English), The Boy Who Harnessed The Wind (English), Devaki (Kannada), Ye Ma Yau (Malayalam), Ludo (Hindi), Over the Hedge (English), Big Brother (Malayalam), Klauss (English), Holidays in the Wild (English), Operation Christmas Drop (English), Mega Mind (English). Among them Ludo, Klauss and The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind tops the list. Others are okay to bad.

The web series were Body Guard (English/Netflix), Emily In Paris (English/Netflix) and Aashram 2 (Hindi/MX Player). 

The books read were Circe-Madeline Miller, Forty Rules of Love-Elif Shafak, Daddy's Girl-Danielle Steel, Anxious People-Fredrik Backman, Evidence of the Affair-Taylor Jenkins Reid, and Blue Umbrella-Ruskin Bond. Circe inspired me to read Greek mythology and hope to do the same next year maybe. Anxious People by Fredrik Backman is another amazing read. Having liked his 'A Man Called Ove' this is my second book by the author. And I did the most predictible thing, picked his another Beartown. What is with Swedish writers, first it was Stieg Larsson and now Backman. Another new found author is Elif Shafak. Forty Rules of Love is about sufi saint Shams and sufi poet Rumi. Hubby started wondering who is this Shams of Tabriz I'm quoting often in our conversation. If I continued with Shafak Turkey might be our next destination for sure.

When hubby got the opportunity to work-from-home for 15 days we decided to visit the native along with cousin M1. It was good to see mother, Ammamma and others after a gap of months.

November has been good. Hope for the kind December.

Withering Bond

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About three months ago I was scrolling down WhatsApp, it hit me hard to know it was me who initiated the chats or conversation with friends all along. Am I the only person investing my time in these relationships? I was making an effort as I felt I owned it to them because of the past. None of them were reciprocated. Now I don't want to carry the load of trying to stay in touch every single time. Once decided it was a huge relief.

I'm the one who constantly opines every relationship needs a lot of nurture and care to sustain. It is a two-way street. Life has been super busy for everyone. If somebody is not trying to keep in touch it only means there is no space for you in their life. They are all good people. I have beautiful memories to cherish. But friendships can't be always about reminiscing good old days. They are afar not dead. Once I decided those people just vanished to thin air. I'm sure they will respond if I initiate the talk. Just that I don't have it me anymore.

As you grow old you realize all those friendships were relationships of convenience. You only get to choose from your school, college, neighborhood, colleagues. Most of the time you are not even in sink with them. Sometimes I wonder why I was friends with that particular person in the first place.

I knew that none of them share any common interest. Still I continued. Listening to their rants and raves without being judgmental. I've compartmentalized them into different boxes and catered to their needs. It was the Sagitarian in me being loyal.

And most of them are turned into crazy bigots now. Or wait! They were that from the beginning, just not mature enough to admit. Some say you cannot just unfriend a person just because he/she have a different opinion. If a person differentiates another human being based on cast, religion, creed, class, gender, race, sexuality, I don't want to be friends with such person. It is nonnegotiable. Better to cut off toxic people from life for sanity. They only bring hatred, jealousy, gloom and negativity to the table.

Being a part of blogsphere and artgram I'm introduced to several like-minded people with common interest in books, travel, films, music, social issue, and many more. We may not be great friends to hang out yet. At least I get suggestions on books, films, music, travel and more. It is good to know there are kind-hearted people out there who will not allow the fascism to win. I digress.

Having ranted I'm not bitter about anybody. I always wish and hope for their happiness. I just don't want to tread along the one-way street. 

The Month That Was October-2020

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Eight months of COVID passed and Life in Time of Corona continues. Both hubby and I had fallen sick in the beginning of the month for 2 to 3 days with fever and headache. Hubby claims it to be COVID with lack of smell and taste. I on the other hand had none of those symptoms. And sickness was not unbearable. We were able to continue normal routine without much glitch. I have been having these paranoid episodes of COVID every time I sneeze or have post nasal drip. Maybe we will get an antibody test in the coming days to check whether what we had was really Corona.

This month we had our father's Shraddha (death anniversary), a ritual to be performed. Mother, siblings, and I all did it separately due to the obvious. We were brought up in a very progressive household and these customs were not followed. My father would have been very disappointed to see this charade. Still we do it for mom's peace of mind. We know for sure she insists this only because of societal pressure. For her generation "What People Say?' is difficult to overcome. When it comes to dad it was different, he was total badass and never had the patience to give a F***.  

Hubby was away for four days to attend a wedding in Mangaluru. Usually we are two peas in a pod. Since there was restriction on attendees we thought I will give a miss this time so is MIL. The truth is I dislike attending these gatherings, be it weddings, receptions, engagements, religious ceremonies all and sundry. Social distancing is nothing new to the introverts. We have been doing this for decades. I've kept myself busy with work, reading, writing, gardening. Still missed him senselessly. It was like I was having withdrawal symptoms. And we were both anxious on the day he had to travel. I digress.

Dasara was a quiet affair. Since we both don't believe in religious observance festivities for us is good food, music, drink, books, films, and conversation. As I write this I realize we do that every day and for us every day is a celebration. Maybe that is why we don't go gaga over festivals. Only one good thing about them is the holidays. In another era we used to travel in such times. Sigh!!!

The books I have read are four in numbers. I See You-Clare Mackintosh, The Night Circus-Erin Morgenstern, After The End-Clare Makintosh, Pieces of Her-Karin Slaughter. In fact Clare Mackintosh impressed me so much with 'I See You' that I had to pick her another book. She is going to be my another go to writer. A book which liked by all but failed to leave an impact was 'The Night Circus'. The writing was very prose and poetic with beautiful imagination. Yet it lacked gripping story and characters. I had thought of DNFing it many times but persisted. It definitely failed me, or rather I had very high expectation. Another equally disappointing was Karin Slaughter's Pieces of Her. Having immensely liked her 'The Good Daughter, Pretty Girls and Cop Town it was an easy pick. Though not boring it had nothing new to offer. I'm even surprised to learn this is going to be a web series airing in Netflix. I'm going to watch it anyway just to see how it is made. Sometimes visual adaptations are better than the fictions.

The moves are quite good in number too. They are Black Friday (Hindi), Ka Pae Ranasingam (Tamil), V (Telugu), Maniyarayile Ashokan (Malayalam), Serious Men (Hindi), Jallikattu (Malayalam), All President's Men (English), Nishabdham (Telugu), June (Malayalam), Ginny Weds Sunny (Hindi), Nanna Prakara (Kannada), 22 Female Kottayam (Malayalam), Chaman Bahar (Hindi), Android Kunjappan Version 5.25, and Virus (Malayalam).  Our obsession with Malayalam cinema continues. You will understand if you see the number of films of that language.

 The web series are Scam 1992 and Mirzapur 2. I've done a detailed review on mirroringart.blogspot.com of Scam 1992. What a gem of show it was. Pratik Gandhi has a new stalker on insta. Mirzapur 2 was much awaited Indian show and Vikranth Massey's absence was very much palpable. The show was breezy and crisp, and I could see the end coming. The subsequent seasons of any series are tough to make as audience always have the originals to compare with. Comparatively it is meek and slow. Still we binge watched over an weekend. That explains what an oxymoron I'm.

I long to go and see my mother and Ammamma. I hope I will be able to do that in the coming months. Cousin M1 is the only visitor we had. There is a lot of gossip doing the rounds in the family about her not agreeing for marriage yet. It was the same a decade earlier about me. And it shall continue with generations to come. Because that is what they enjoy and that is what their life about. I'm not proud of them. If I could I would have disown them.

October had been kind. Hoping to say the same about November.

To The Man Who Loved and Lived-Part 11

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It has been four years since I've lost my father. Without my knowledge I go to depression around September 22. If anybody can hate a date this will be mine. I talked to my mother and brothers knowing they are hurting equally and going through the same emotions. According to Hindu calendar his Punyatithi (anniversary) falls this month. Due to the force majeure we all had to do it separately this year. I'm not someone who believes in these rituals, but did nonetheless to keep my mother at peace. So, did the siblings. I heard from little birds that someone commenting we don't love our father because we don't celebrate the anniversary in grand scale. I just laughed at the gossip. 

One had to know me, siblings, mother and father to understand what kind of relationship we share. The people who really know us get the family dynamics. Others, not much.

Losing my father left a permanent whole in my heart. None of the happy news will be the same that I cannot share with him. And difficult time will be bit stretching without him in my corner. He was my go-to man. He was the go-getter. Though I've started writing this blog when he was alive, not confident enough to share this with him. Or probably I didn't want my parents to get into my head. Now, even if I want to I could not. He would be proud of his little girl running three blogs meticulously. And maybe secretly admiring himself for passing on that writing gene.

I constantly talk to my father when I'm alone. He would not reply back obviously. For others this charade may sound psychotic, but it gives me a sense of assurance. I still can hear his bashful voice calling my pet names.

I wonder what he would have done in this pandemic. He would not have restricted himself from visiting town for buying the necessities. Isolating himself would not have been an issue since he would be busy farming. But he would have worried himself sick about his children (son-in-law and daughters-in-law) and grandchildren.

My heart aches for him to be part of our ordinary life, the happy, sad, and everyday milestones. I'm still angry at the universe for taking him away so soon. Not a single day passes without thinking about him or talking about him.

Month That Was September-2020

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It is going to be seventh month staying-home-staying-safe this September. For a introvert like me it is a blessing in disguise. I don't miss going to work. In fact, I'll be sad if they ask us to join the work force. Working from home gives me ample time to read, write, cook, tend to plants, and binge on favourite TV Shows and movies. Major hit I took is cancelling all our travels. And our weekend visits to theater, musicals, pubs, restaurants, comedy shows, and others. Though dramas, comedy shows, musicals are offered online somehow it does not feel right. Some art forms should be viewed face-to-face along with the crowd.

Complete stop to outside eating also means more cooking at home. I just know the basics of cooking. I do not enjoy the process. However, this pandemic forced me to don my culinary hat to dish out different cuisine. During the course some items are hit and others miss. What I've realized is cooking is not a big deal. One need little logic and practice while making any dish. I'm still in the learning curve to understand the ingredients and its use. Hubby is of the opinion I do not relish cooking because I'm not a foodie. True, I rarely go out of my comfort cuisine. Probably the pandemic will help to change that.

With self-imposed writing deadline it was a surprise that I could finish four books this month. They are The Dutch House-Ann Patchett, The Girl Who Played with Fire-Steig Larsson, The Book Thief-Markus Zusak, and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest-Stieg Larsson. The Book Thief was a DNF from last year. Despite people raving about this I didn't like the book as much. In fact, I've liked the film adaptation much better. The Millennium series on the other hand are the best crime thriller I've read so far. Salander is a character that is both unorthodox in style and attitude. She is a victim and survivor. She is going to be my favourite for a very long time.  

The television shows we watched are Bandish Bandit, Ashram, and Tales from the Loop. The amazing Bandish Bandit restored our intestrest in Indian classical music once again. Both BB and Tales from the Loop deserves a detailed review.

The movies we have watched are C U Soon (Malayalam), Mundina Nildana (Kannada), Desert Flower (English), Hard Kill (English), Dia (Kannada), Kappela (Malayalam), Little Women (English), and Cargo (Hindi).

Cousin M1 is the only visitor to our humble abode. That girl runs away from the word 'CO'. Since hubby was busy judging moot court, mediation, and client counseling we went for plant shopping. 

I had to let go chilly and tomato plants due to no pollination. They flower and wither without bearing fruits. I've read mustard plants attract the bees, however, could not spot one in the balcony. Probably I need to research more about cross and artificial pollination. For now I've to be happy with microgreens and herbs. I've dried and bottled few Mexican mint and lemongrass to be used in morning tea. They give the perfect aroma which is refreshing and immunity booster.

September was peaceful. October be kind.