To The Man Who Loved and Lived-Part 11

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It has been four years since I've lost my father. Without my knowledge I go to depression around September 22. If anybody can hate a date this will be mine. I talked to my mother and brothers knowing they are hurting equally and going through the same emotions. According to Hindu calendar his Punyatithi (anniversary) falls this month. Due to the force majeure we all had to do it separately this year. I'm not someone who believes in these rituals, but did nonetheless to keep my mother at peace. So, did the siblings. I heard from little birds that someone commenting we don't love our father because we don't celebrate the anniversary in grand scale. I just laughed at the gossip. 

One had to know me, siblings, mother and father to understand what kind of relationship we share. The people who really know us get the family dynamics. Others, not much.

Losing my father left a permanent whole in my heart. None of the happy news will be the same that I cannot share with him. And difficult time will be bit stretching without him in my corner. He was my go-to man. He was the go-getter. Though I've started writing this blog when he was alive, not confident enough to share this with him. Or probably I didn't want my parents to get into my head. Now, even if I want to I could not. He would be proud of his little girl running three blogs meticulously. And maybe secretly admiring himself for passing on that writing gene.

I constantly talk to my father when I'm alone. He would not reply back obviously. For others this charade may sound psychotic, but it gives me a sense of assurance. I still can hear his bashful voice calling my pet names.

I wonder what he would have done in this pandemic. He would not have restricted himself from visiting town for buying the necessities. Isolating himself would not have been an issue since he would be busy farming. But he would have worried himself sick about his children (son-in-law and daughters-in-law) and grandchildren.

My heart aches for him to be part of our ordinary life, the happy, sad, and everyday milestones. I'm still angry at the universe for taking him away so soon. Not a single day passes without thinking about him or talking about him.

Month That Was September-2020

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It is going to be seventh month staying-home-staying-safe this September. For a introvert like me it is a blessing in disguise. I don't miss going to work. In fact, I'll be sad if they ask us to join the work force. Working from home gives me ample time to read, write, cook, tend to plants, and binge on favourite TV Shows and movies. Major hit I took is cancelling all our travels. And our weekend visits to theater, musicals, pubs, restaurants, comedy shows, and others. Though dramas, comedy shows, musicals are offered online somehow it does not feel right. Some art forms should be viewed face-to-face along with the crowd.

Complete stop to outside eating also means more cooking at home. I just know the basics of cooking. I do not enjoy the process. However, this pandemic forced me to don my culinary hat to dish out different cuisine. During the course some items are hit and others miss. What I've realized is cooking is not a big deal. One need little logic and practice while making any dish. I'm still in the learning curve to understand the ingredients and its use. Hubby is of the opinion I do not relish cooking because I'm not a foodie. True, I rarely go out of my comfort cuisine. Probably the pandemic will help to change that.

With self-imposed writing deadline it was a surprise that I could finish four books this month. They are The Dutch House-Ann Patchett, The Girl Who Played with Fire-Steig Larsson, The Book Thief-Markus Zusak, and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest-Stieg Larsson. The Book Thief was a DNF from last year. Despite people raving about this I didn't like the book as much. In fact, I've liked the film adaptation much better. The Millennium series on the other hand are the best crime thriller I've read so far. Salander is a character that is both unorthodox in style and attitude. She is a victim and survivor. She is going to be my favourite for a very long time.  

The television shows we watched are Bandish Bandit, Ashram, and Tales from the Loop. The amazing Bandish Bandit restored our intestrest in Indian classical music once again. Both BB and Tales from the Loop deserves a detailed review.

The movies we have watched are C U Soon (Malayalam), Mundina Nildana (Kannada), Desert Flower (English), Hard Kill (English), Dia (Kannada), Kappela (Malayalam), Little Women (English), and Cargo (Hindi).

Cousin M1 is the only visitor to our humble abode. That girl runs away from the word 'CO'. Since hubby was busy judging moot court, mediation, and client counseling we went for plant shopping. 

I had to let go chilly and tomato plants due to no pollination. They flower and wither without bearing fruits. I've read mustard plants attract the bees, however, could not spot one in the balcony. Probably I need to research more about cross and artificial pollination. For now I've to be happy with microgreens and herbs. I've dried and bottled few Mexican mint and lemongrass to be used in morning tea. They give the perfect aroma which is refreshing and immunity booster.

September was peaceful. October be kind.