Life Cut Short

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You often would have noticed WhatsApp messages supporting Modi and his government or funny memes mocking Rahul Gandhi telling us how stupid he is. Or Pro Congress messages in support of Raga and blaming Modi and government. We would have received thousands of these kind of forward messages and videos in the past 4 years. I read some and skip others. But you got the grit right? If it's funny I laugh and share it with the like-minded people. I have a very witty and strong response to each and every serious ones too, but I keep it to myself. Because you know different people different opinions.

This week a forward message boiled my blood and fire raged inside me. It is in support of the accused perpetrators in Asifa case. Now everyone knows about this if you are not living under a rock. The 8-year-old child was kidnapped, held captive for 3 days, given sedatives, gang raped, and brutally murdered. The girl was Muslim and the perpetrators Hindus, so in no time communal colour was given to the incident and protests broke in support of the criminals. 

I did not engage directly in an argument with this person. I forwarded another beautiful message which you read in the beginning. Like I expected he got offensive and defensive. Then followed a heated argument. I'm not the one to lose in a squabble especially when I know what that person did was wrong. There are always two angles to an incident, right and wrong. And what happened to that little girl is wrong, bad, and savage. I shudder to think something like this happening to my loved ones. It is an heinous crime against the mankind. How a human being can support the perpetrators? Its okay you follow some religion, it's okay if you associate yourself to a political party, it's okay to have opinions. However, it is not alright to cease being a human.

No other members of that group contributed to the discussion. They were mute spectators. I suppose many of them agree with me and rest disagree. Probably they have no opinion about the whole matter, but I had to make my voice heard loud and clear though no one cared to listen. I may have wasted my time in doing so, but you can't always think about benefits. I may have made myself an enemy to the above-said person and more, but what is the use of being friends with such persons? I may have made many people realized how strong-headed I'm, but I was never the ideal eye-batting/giggly girl anyways.

Also in another group a classmate posted something on the same line. Sadly he couldn't understand my message and it died down then and there. How I wish he could have picked up a fight.

Some may call this as my armchair activism. I was equally horrified and pained when Nirbhaya incident happened and many more after that. I always raised my voice whenever people blamed the victim for no fault of theirs. They can give all religious, political, communal colours to support this barbaric act. I shall continue telling otherwise as I have not lost hope in goodness of people. Justice should and must prevail for Asifa and girls like her.

Direction Dyslexic

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Hubby is the first person to discover me being a direction dyslexic. It must be during our courtship days. Usually we decide upon a place to meet and I was the first one to arrive, always (though Hubby thinks otherwise). Once he comes he will ask where I'm and I tell him. He just couldn't find me and I have trouble giving him directions. It would have definitely annoyed him but he never showed it. After many such debacles he might have sensed something is wrong. Otherwise seemingly intelligent (coyly I say) girlfriend's this ridiculous behaviour is unacceptable for him.

You wouldn't believe I can get lost in a new house from going one room to another. In Airports I'm terrified to use the loo for the same reason. I panic in the hotel hallways because I don't know if to turn left or right. If a loved one is admitted to the hospital, I worry for their well-being alright. I dread to visit them alone. Not because I am fragile or can't handle the emotional strain. I get lost finding the room, straying off between cafeteria, ICU, and different departments. If a friend or family asks me to come out and take them inside an auditorium for performance, I literally start to hyperventilate. I think I have said it before I don't like malls but for their multiplexes. Malls are big and have different levels, exits and imagine my plight. In pubs if the restrooms are in the same level I'm saved. Sometimes they will be in different levels. surprisingly when I'm high I find my way pretty easily without agitation. I have realized I just can't find my way if it's not my regular route.

I remember getting lost once in my hometown when I was a kid. Somehow I managed to reach home safely after much delay. My overprotective grandmother almost had a heart attack, but I never told her about being lost. Because I knew she would never send me alone anywhere. If I can remember that was my first encounter with directions. I can't differentiate north from south or east from west.

When I hear GPS chick saying head north or go east I feel like laughing my ass off. Thankfully it is always somebody else driving. Yes, you guessed it right. I don't know how to drive. How on earth anybody can think a person like me can drive? I secretly thinks it runs in my family. My younger brother has the same problem, but he manages to drive good. Whenever someone asks us to direct them to our house we cackle holding our tummies. I know it is crazy, but we understand each other better that way.

The wife-bragging hubby of mine now goes to the extent of saying "my wife is the smartest one, you can trust her whatever she says, but for the direction; she is direction dyslexic". It may not be life altering but being direction dyslexic dampens my spirit in a larger away. Probably it is time to overcome this condition and make friends with maps, compass, GPS, all and sundry.

J.R.R. Tolkien never had the opportunity to meet a person like me otherwise he wouldn't have quoted "Not all those who wander are lost".

To the man who loved and lived-Part 4

You should know everything even though you wouldn't use it or apply it" was my father's pearl of advice. I know it is impossible to know everything, but it never stopped me from trying. I remember the context in which he said this. I was a lazy teenager back then. Either you would find me in a corner holding a book or plonked in front of TV. My mother never asked me to help with any chores and I was insensitive to offer any help either. On a particular evening mom was unwell and my poor father was doing the dishes. I forgot to mention I also had this habit of following my father everywhere like a puppy. Then my father asked do you know how to do dishes? I airily answered, "Why should I? I'm never going to do this kind of menial job". That is when he said the above-mentioned words. I paused for a second to get that sink in and helped him with the current task. If it was my mother I wouldn't have done so. But with my father it was different. I wanted to impress him. As I'm writing this I have realized probably he was the only person whom I wanted to impress always.

He was the person who knew how to fix everything. One thing he claimed he didn't know was cone-making that was to made Kadubu (an authentic coastal Karnataka cuisine). The process goes something like this; one has to take 4 equal, large jack fruit leaves; then pin 3 leaves together with the coconut sticks; after that take the fourth leaf and pin obliquely; next pin them all one by one at the tip of the leaves. That is how it is made. It is an art I tell you because I tried and failed many times. The last Ganesha festival we celebrated with him forced him to learn that skill as well. My sister-in-law who is sort of expert in cone-making cancelled at the last moment for reasons best known to her. My mother cannot be troubled as her hands were full. So, my father started making them one by one. He narrated an incident in which his aunt told him "never to try doing the cone-making because that is the one thing you cannot do and when you do it would be a disaster. He has told that story many times before. To my surprise he did them pretty magnificently. Now I doubt probably he was practicing them secretly. He is not available to ask that question now.

I have countless memories of him to cherish. I am only sad because I cannot create new ones.

Front of the Class

"It's okay to be different"

Movie Name: Front of the Class
Language: English
Genre: Drama
Cast: Jimmy Wolk, Treat Williams, Patricia Heato
Director: Peter Werner
Year: 2008

When I first saw the trailer of the movie Hichki it reminded me of an English film I had watched a few years ago. After searching a little I found out the name. As it always happens I urged hubby to watch it again. I know he would love this one. That is how we rolled in this weekend.

Story in Nutshell: At the start of the movie we see Brad narrating the story. As a kid he is often teased by other children and reprimanded by the teachers to behave in the classroom because of the noises he makes. Teachers often sends him to principal because they think he is mischievous. His father is embarrassed by him and believes he should work hard on controlling his tics. After the divorce of his parents Brad and his brother are raised solely by mother, Ellen. When the doctors fail to find out what Brad's condition is, his mother does her own research only to find the name of the condition, but no cure. The principal in his middle school asks Brad to talk about his condition in front of an audience and he gets a huge applause after doing that.  From then onward he is determined to become the teacher he never had in his entire life.

He moves to Georgia. After turned down by 24 schools he gets job at Mountain View Elementary School. But it is not a cakewalk either. A student is pulled out from his class by her father because of Brad's ticks. Along the line he meets Nancy on a dating site and they hit it off immediately. He was concerned that Nancy will get tired of him because of his condition, only to be reassured by his mother not to let TS get in the way.

Soon he has been chosen to receive "Teacher of the year" award in front of his family, friends, and students. As the end credit rolls I get to know that it is based on a real life person.

My Take: I first heard about Tourette syndrome in this movie. A neuropsychiatric disorder characterized by multiple motor tics and at least one vocal tic. Some common ticks are eye blinking, involuntary noise, coughing, throat clearing, neck jerking, facial movements. I have not met any person with this condition so far. It is a Hallmark Hall of Fame TV movie, so it is ought to be sloppy, mushy, corny, and really silly. No surprise there, they make the greeting cards. Though in existence, the cards will soon be extinct in this rapid techno era or maybe not considering there are still some old souls like me who still go for a beautiful, catchy greeting card. I digress.

The story is beautiful. It oscillates between life lessons, relationship, fears, frustration, determination, disability, and humor. Brad's positive attitude towards life, courage in accepting his disability, and the determination to fulfill his dreams is inspirational. The relationship he shares with his father is tumultuous yet very much relatable . His supporting mother is endearing.  She instills in him the attitude of never let your TS (Tourette syndrome) get in your way. Jimmy Wolk is brilliant as Brad. He is too handsome to be true. His performance is extraordinary and praiseworthy. He sunk his teeth into the role. He makes Brad and Tourette Syndrome much more believable. I wonder why I have not seen him before. The supporting actors did their part as well. I had my eyes welled up many times. A perfect film to lift one's spirit and restore your hope in goodness. Who says movie is just for entertainment. A good film always teaches you to be a better person, one day at a time or shall I say one movie at a time.

It is based on the book "Front of the Class: How Tourette Syndrome Made Me the Teacher I Never Had" by Brad Cohen co-authored by Lisa Wysocky. Hubby and I deduced the frequency of tics may not that prevalent as they have shown in the movie. They probably did it to establish the characters and move forward with the story. Must watch if you are looking for good movies.

Big Little Lies

I wanted to watch this ever since I know it had won many Emmy awards in mini series category. And one more thing that piqued my attention was it is based on the novel of Liane Moriarty of the same name. I have read her Truly, madly, guilty and liked it. She is the author who introduced me to Australia. No, I knew the existence of this country on the map. The traveler in me knew that much. It's about Australian people, their lifestyle, habits, relationship, cuisine, etc. Fiction maybe, but window to their world nonetheless.

The second point was the actors, Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, and Shailene Woodley.

This miniseries consist of 7 episodes. The drama is set in Monterey, California about upper-middle-class people who has envious ocean-facing bungalow; big, spacious, sparkling kitchens; expensive cars; branded clothes; and beautiful children. The children are the common link between all major characters because they all attend the same elementary school.

The story follows the lives of three women. Madeline (Reese Witherspoon), mother of a teenage daughter and a first grader. She is divorced and remarried, but still has trouble dealing with her ex-husband, Nathan and his new wife Bonnie. She is nosy and likes to meddle in other's business. Madeline befriends with Jane (Shailene Woodley), a single mother. She recently moved to this town for her son Ziggy's education. She has a dark past too. The trouble starts when Ziggy is accused of physically bullying another girl in the school. Then the battle lines are drawn between mothers and they are expected to take sides. Third is Celeste (Nicole Kidman), a successful lawyer once, now stay-at-home mother to her twin boys. Superficially her life is picture perfect with young, rich, good looking husband.  She is in denial of physical abuse meted out by her husband, Perry. Their relationship is volatile and aggressive. Along the way the three women forms a close knit friendship.

We know that somebody is dead and the investigation is on. The story jumps forward and backward giving us the hint to predict who got murdered on the fateful trivia night. The climax was predictable, but the whodunit part had me in awe. 

Until the first two episodes I was thinking "Oh! Another Desperate Housewives". However, the drama is gripping from there afterwards. The best scenes for me are Celeste's sessions with her therapist. First she overlooks her husband's violent behavior, then she blames herself for the abusive relationship, she desperately tries to believe her husband loves her, and finally comes to term with the need to leave the vicious marriage. It talks about domestic violence and how difficult it is for women to walk out that relationship. It reminds me of my earlier post on domestic violence.

The soundtrack was melodious. I loved the Elvis version of "Wonder of you" song on the trivia night sung by Ed. I never heard of that song before and I have heard it multiple times after that. Such beautiful tune and lyrics. And I need to read the book too. Oh! I'm not that sort of person who couldn't read or see something while already knowing the story. It intrigues me more to know how different it is in book or vice versa.

I heard HBO renewed the series for second season with the same main cast along with Meryl Streep. One more reason for me to watch the second season.