Holy Thread

I have been questioned many times in the last four years of marriage "Why I don't wear Thali (a thread/metal neck piece most married Indian women wear) by relatives ans acquaintances. I would have given different answers to different people depending on their brain size.

The real reason is "I don't believe in these symbols of marriage." Ours was a traditional Hindu wedding and Mangalya Dharana (tying sacred thread around bride's neck by groom) takes a major role as per rituals. I was on the edge the whole day of my wedding and that moment was not etched in my memory. We have to see the wedding photos to realize it. It was a summer wedding and all I wanted was the day to end. One has to visit coastal Karnataka to understand this.

I wore it just for a week untill all the mandatory customs ended. People say removing Thali will shorten your husband's life. I could give millions of examples where husbands died untimely despite their respective wives wearing Thalis. My grandmother is one among them. So logically this couldn't hold any good.

When questioned people come up with default answer of "Indian culture. I detest such hypocrisy. A woman has to wear this symbol so that her husband can live long. What about the woman? Her life doesn't have any value? Is this why Indian culture treats widows badly? Stigmatizing and ripping them off of their honor to lead a normal life in society? 

I'm not an airheaded to believe my husband's life expectancy is directly proportioned to a thread I wear around my neck.

And I don't have the need to prove to the world that I'm married. My family knows it, my friends know it, my employer knows it, and most importantly my personal banker knows it. That should suffice I guess.

My love and commitment to Hubby was present much more longer than our societal approved 'marital status'. I wear them only if it compliments certain outfits, purely for aesthetic purposes, nothing more nothing less.

Having said that I'm not against married women adorning all the marital trademarks. In fact I love seeing them as I don't watch Indian serials these days (pun unintended). I believe it is just a matter of personal choice. And nobody should be forced to wear it against their wishes.

And luckily I'm married to a secured man who strongly believes marriage is much more than mere symbols.