“As far as I can tell, common sense hasn’t been in fashion for a long time.”
Boston Girl by Anita Diamant is transcript of a tape-recorded monologue delivered by an 85-year-old woman called Addie Baum. She was asked by her granddaughter how she got to be the person she is today. Addie takes us back to 1990, the year she was born.
Addie is the daughter of Jewish immigrants who settled down in Boston. She has two elder sisters, Betty and Celia. She is the first in the family to go to school. She learns how to use typewriting and takes Shakespeare classes. To escape her mother's suffocating behavior, She attends Saturday club where she meets women of other classes who introduce her to books, theater, games, and leisurely activities which were scandalous back then.
Her sister Celia commits suicide. She loses two of her nephews to Spanish flu. After initial debacles with men, she finds her "fella" in Aaron, a lawyer who believes in fighting for social causes. In a course of time she becomes a writer and subsequently starts teaching at Boston University.
Though not in a great detail The Boston Girl touches the event of immigration, women's suffrage, world war I and II, Spanish flu, great depression. It explores the cultural difference between immigrants and natives and how it affects the relationships. Addie's tumultuous relationship with her eternal unhappy mother who hates everything about America is quite engaging.
It is a memoir, an easy read. I would love to hear the story of my grandmother like this. Certainly it gave me an idea to ask about her childhood, adolescence, and the journey of life. Living almost a century is not an easy feast. I digress.
I finished it off in two days between tight schedule. Other than a few tragedies it is all hunky dory. I don't say it is an excellent piece of work, nonetheless a good read.
“Even a broken clock is right twice every day.”
It is a post I shared in FB inspired this jotting. Facebook is not utterly useless after all I must say.
People accuse me of being feminist as if it is contagious. Yes, I'm a feminist and I wear that badge proudly and unapologetically. I started noticing feminism streak in my childhood and it all boils down to the title of this post "Chores".
One fine day my grandmother asks me to do particular chore like sweeping or mopping. Positioning myself comfortably in front of television I directed at my elder cousin who is sitting idly beside and said "why can't he do it". Her reply was simple "He is a boy". I snarled at her with one word "So?" Her refusal to make her darling grandson work made me much more determined not to do any work at all. When I talk about it now, my grandmother graciously accepts it was a mistake on her part and now she believes each and everyone should learn the basic chores and be self-sufficient. My mother never differentiated despite me having two brothers.
My father is a man who helps my mother in all aspects of household chores. He never sat lazily in front of TV and ordered for anything. I'm told he is the most hands-on-dad while raising the three of us. I clearly remember he combing my hair and doing high ponytail in my 11th and 12th standard for the whole two years. He is still the same. Now he is the most hands-on-granddad to my 4-year-old nephew.
And ditto for my uncle. He shares a greater part of chores with my aunt and grandmother. My other aunts used to make snide remarks at him for doing "womanly" chores. But he neither cared nor stopped doing it. My understanding is that my aunts were pure jealous because their husbands are nothing of that sort. They even proudly announce at family functions of not allowing their husbands to lift a finger. I control my urge to blurt out "Are they handicapped?
I have witnessed the hostesses running around like headless chickens trying to multitask while their respective husbands plonking on their useless glued asses when we were invited by friends and family alike. It makes me feel so sorry for them and I try to help because of guilt. I'm yet to see a couple who shares equal responsibilities when we are invited and allow me to have food in peace.
One of my friends said she hates somebody serving her husband tea instead of her. Sounds all romantic. The same friend was speechless when being asked "Will your husband serves you tea too?
In our household we share responsibilities; however, it is not exactly 50-50 split. And as I'm a control freak and suffers from borderline OCD, I want work to be done in certain way. our rule is simple "No my work or your work, it is our work" and it suits us. Marrying the son of a career woman definitely has the edge in this aspect. And the fact that he is totally into you is just cherry on top.
We stumbled upon this movie while researching for Cambodia trip last year. We opted to stay in Phnom Penh, capital of Cambodia to visit the real gory site and museum. Until then I was totally ignorant of this genocide which wiped off 1/4 part of Cambodian population. The movies was released in 1984, winning three Academy awards.
Based on true story of an American journalist, Sydney Schanberg of New York Times "The Life and Death of Dith Pran." Sydney was deployed in Phnom Penh in the early 70s to cover the civil war in Cambodia between Cambodian National Army and Khmer Rouge, a result of Vietnam war. Here he collaborates with Dith Pran, a Cambodian journalist and interpreter who also works for New York Times. As Khmer Rouge (barbarians at their best) closes in, international embassies decide to evacuate their personnel and Dith sends off his family to USA, but stays back with Sydney. The situation gets worse as Khmer Rouge orders all the Cambodian citizens to be turned in. Sydney and others manage to flee, but Pran is unable due to his passport.
Khmer Rouge ordered cities to be evacuated in an attempt create isolation. He is now caught in Pol Pot's "Year Zero" program. All educated people are killed including doctors, lawyers, teachers, journalists. He fakes of being illiterate. He somehow manages to survive in the prison camp where he was starved and tortured. Eventually he escapes and reaches Red Cross Camp near the border of Thailand.
Sidney wins the Pultizer prize for his coverage of the Cambodian conflict, however, is accused by Rockoff (a friend who was there in Cambodia) of not doing enough to rescue Pran.
It is impossible not to be disturbed by the movie. Now overridden with guilt Sydney reaches the Red Cross Camp, reunites with Pran, and asks for forgiveness. And Pran's reply was "nothing to forgive Sydney" tells volume about the character. It depicts the darkest period of history where 2 million people were died due to starvation, brutality, torture, and pure hatred.
Pran's determination to overcome all odds and survive is a lesson to all human kind. A scene where he make a small cut on a cow to drink blood is the most heart wrenching. Pran played by Dr. Haing Ngor is a surviver of Khmer Rouge is the perfect cast. His performance is brilliant and natural for a nonactor. It is sad to know he was shot dead in 1996 in Los Angeles.
I have watched it after 31 years of its release and I say this is one of those timeless movies. It captures atrocities of Cambodian civil war, Khmer Rouge, and genocide distinctly. Despite this it tells the compassion and friendship grows even during the hardest time.
It is an intense journey of adventure and tragedy. And after seeing the real Killing Fields, I can vouch this film is well researched and superbly made. It stands testimonial to savagery of human race. Make time for it.
If somebody asks me to pick one book that tops my reading list it would be Parva. A Kannada novel Written by veteran S.L.Byrappa based on epic Mahabharata. This has been translated to several languages.
It was my father who recommended the book. He had the copy, which was brought in early 80s. It was in a very fragile condition by then. He explained it was borrowed by many back then and was debated in fervor. I started it immediately after my 10th board exam. From then onwards I would have read it 8 to 10 times and know the story and characters like back of my hand.
Now a days there are 100 versions of epic Mahabharatha out there and nothing comes close to S.L.Byrappa's Parva. The story begins at the end of Vanavasa (12 year of exile in forest) and Ajnatavasa (1 year in disguise). Both Kauravas and Pandavas are now on the quest to collect warriors to fight for them. It is narrated in different point of view of many characters such as Kunti, Bhima, Draupadi, Arjuna, Satyaki, Karna, Dhuryodhana and so on.
As much as I love all the characters it is Draupadi who stands out to me. A royal princess, married to the most powerful men of that time, her life is nothing but bed of roses. It is a feat to read her transforming from a innocent, coy bride to her strength displayed at the time of infamous disrobing to her unshakable determination to seek justice. She falls out of love with handsome and romantic Arjuna for various reasons. She opts for more caring and compassionate Bhima at later part. Her repulsion towards Dharmaraya is evident though she is bound by duties to treat all her husbands equally.
All the characters here are mere humans and not gods or demi-gods even the mighty Krishna. They do not possess any supernatural powers. And all born through natural process of "the birds and the bees", not by boons granted to Kunti by sage Durvasa.
Byrappa created the most believable characters with flaws just like how we human beings are. Author spent years traveling all over India. His research mainly consists of geography, anthropology, techniques of warfare, socio-cultural detail, and philosophical approach. He took sabbatical from his new job to do all that. He is totally impartial to all the characters he created. It is rather hard for an author because somewhere down the line he is prone to fall in love with one character
more than the rest.
I'm reluctant to read the English version of Parva for the fear of losing its magic in translation. And nothing can be compared with reading the book in its original language. My father and I still debate about it whenever the topic of Mahabharata comes up. For us "Parva" is the holy magnum opus.
I have been questioned many times in the last four years of marriage "Why I don't wear Thali (a thread/metal neck piece most married Indian women wear) by relatives ans acquaintances. I would have given different answers to different people depending on their brain size.
The real reason is "I don't believe in these symbols of marriage." Ours was a traditional Hindu wedding and Mangalya Dharana (tying sacred thread around bride's neck by groom) takes a major role as per rituals. I was on the edge the whole day of my wedding and that moment was not etched in my memory. We have to see the wedding photos to realize it. It was a summer wedding and all I wanted was the day to end. One has to visit coastal Karnataka to understand this.
I wore it just for a week untill all the mandatory customs ended. People say removing Thali will shorten your husband's life. I could give millions of examples where husbands died untimely despite their respective wives wearing Thalis. My grandmother is one among them. So logically this couldn't hold any good.
When questioned people come up with default answer of "Indian culture. I detest such hypocrisy. A woman has to wear this symbol so that her husband can live long. What about the woman? Her life doesn't have any value? Is this why Indian culture treats widows badly? Stigmatizing and ripping them off of their honor to lead a normal life in society?
I'm not an airheaded to believe my husband's life expectancy is directly proportioned to a thread I wear around my neck.
And I don't have the need to prove to the world that I'm married. My family knows it, my friends know it, my employer knows it, and most importantly my personal banker knows it. That should suffice I guess.
My love and commitment to Hubby was present much more longer than our societal approved 'marital status'. I wear them only if it compliments certain outfits, purely for aesthetic purposes, nothing more nothing less.
Having said that I'm not against married women adorning all the marital trademarks. In fact I love seeing them as I don't watch Indian serials these days (pun unintended). I believe it is just a matter of personal choice. And nobody should be forced to wear it against their wishes.
And luckily I'm married to a secured man who strongly believes marriage is much more than mere symbols.
As a kid the only travel we did was visiting temples. My father's definition of traveling was restricted to that. Most of our holidays were spent at grandmother's place. It was in my High school that my parents allowed me to go on a day trip. It was fun being with friends in a different set up than the school premises. During college days I have traveled to a few places. The longest is one-week tour to Ooty, Kodaikanal, Munnar, Kochin, and Coimbatore. I remember looking at beautiful tea plantation in Munnar and promising myself to return again, and I did visit all the places once again.
The actual travel bug bit me only a couple of years ago. It was actually a visit to Belur-Halebidu-Shravanabelagola eight years back that sealed the deal for us. It was the zen moment for both Hubby and me. We realized our passion for monuments, history, nature, curiosity to know different cultures and life style, and understand the world better. And that is how our journey started.
We are a mix breed who do both travel as well as touristy stuff. As much as we would love to go off-the-beaten-track, we wouldn't miss a popular must-see-place for anything as we know a particular place is popular for a reason. It is like visiting Agra and not seeing Taj Mahal or visiting Paris and not seeing Eiffel Tower.
Each and every trip of ours is planned and executed by us. We have not gone on any package holidays so far. They are just not for us. There is a kind of Adrenalin rush in planning a trip which we wouldn't miss for anything. We decided to leave the package holiday for our old age and the only thing we want then would be peace and luxury.
Some people really appreciates our travel and asks for advice here and there. Others just say 'If we are like you, we would be doing much more traveling than you'. I still don't understand what exactly is 'like you'. But i just nod along and smile as if I totally get them.
It is amazing to have a life-partner who share the same passion of traveling. All I want is the zeal to work for travel fund, good health, and a long life together to create beautiful memories and to leave our foot prints almost everywhere.
Landline by Rainbow Rowell won Goodreads best fiction in 2014 and that is how I came to know about this book as well as the writer. This is author's fourth book and mine first.
Georgie McCool gets an opportunity to have her own TV Show with a major broadcaster, which she has dreamt and worked towards relentlessly with her friend, Seth of 20 years. Only glitch is she is all set to fly off to Omaha, Nebraska with her family to celebrate Christmas with her mother-in-law. She cancels the travel much to the chagrin of her husband Neal, who in return take their two children and goes off to Omaha as planned. She finds herself alone and decides to crash at her mother's place until their return. Neal is not picking her calls, that worries her endlessly. She reminiscences about her 14 year of marriage during this time. Neal takes her call when she calls from her childhood landline and he is not the same Neal. It is the Neal of 1998 a week before his proposal. She wonders about having hallucinations. How she comes to terms with marriage? How she understands her marriage is falling apart?
Georgie is totally a unrelatable character. She is a comedy writer by profession, but could not make me smile even once. And Neal is a guy who hardly smiles and has a wasted dimples. He is selfish, mean, and jealous of her success. I don't understand why anyone wants to stay married to this guy even if he takes care of the house and children. Or may be that is the only reason she puts up with him as 90% mothers do. It is not clearly explained why she fell in love with him in the first place. Even though it is portrayed as Georgie having a successful career, all I can read is her grumbling and brooding. Neal and Georgie's relationship failed a big time here. Georgie's mother and sister's characters are little enjoyable though.
I was bored after reaching 10th page. The story revolves around Georgie making call to her husband, going to work, coming back to her mother's place, and calling again from landline. Next day, again the same drill. I had to force myself to continue reading, and completing it is not a small task. I'm told the author's earlier works are much better, but I'm not in a mood to try them yet.
I'm a chronic book sniffer. As soon as the book delivers, the first thing I do is sniff it. It is not only the new books. I love to smell the old books too in between reading. It makes reading much more real for me.
During my visit to book store, it is a humongous effort to control my urge to sniff for the fear of people thinking I'm crazy or rather dread of being reprimanded by store persons. However, sometimes I move to a farthest corner away from everyone's eyes and take that big whiff. The feeling is ecstatic.
Now a days I miss visiting public library where the entire area puffs off delectable 'booky' aroma. I know there are many out there who share this fetish of mine.
What about you? Are you a book sniffer? Or the one who has not done it ever?
The month began with a visit to parents' and in-law. We have not visited native during Jackfruit season. Hubby wanted to try the delicacies made out of this fruit. Dad told me to confirm the visit one week before, so they can make necessary arrangements.
Mom made Kadubu for lunch, which was delicious to say the least. I had to swallow my drool as I type this. Another item was Mulka (pakoda). Mom fed us gluttons continuously untill we couldn't take anymore. Two hours after this came the mouthwatering fruit pods. As much as I do love delicacies of fruit, nothing can be compared to the taste of real fruit. Eating Jackfruit is sticky business literally. There are two varieties, Bokke and Imba. Bokke is my favourite. It is crunchy and juicy wherein Imba is much more sweeter, but soft and sloppy.
Another added value to the journey is driving through the western ghats. The beauty of western ghats in monsoon is unparalleled to anything else. The thick evergreen forest blooms with flora and fauna. We are bound to witness minimum one or two falls on the way to parent's from in-law's place. And every time I couldn't contain myself singing famous "Jogada Siri Belakinalli" song. The vast mountain range is UNESCO World Heritage Site for a reason.
We have watched couple of movies this month. They are Sultan, TE3N, Fan, Azar, One night stand, Shaukeen, Tere bin Laden 2, and Demolition. My reading progressed a little better with me completing 3 books, Spirit Bound, Last Sacrifice, and The Luckiest Girl Alive. Another epic show ended for us this month as well that is Downton Abbey. I bid adieu teary eyed to much treasured characters not before promising to visit them Again. And we are all set to "Breaking Bad" for another two months.
Baby sister M2 joined college. The last weekend saw me arranging things and helping her settle down in this new city. As youngest among cousins she was pampered the most and Ammamma's favourite. The separation is taking toll on both of them. And I'm certain this "Empty Nest Syndrome" will have its effect on her parents as well as Ammamma for quite some time.
So, how was your July folks?
